Twister Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat.
He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye. He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes, mind if I ask how you got yours?
Other guy: "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident.
See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the hugest tits in the world was there. So, instead of saying 'I'd like a ticket to Pittsburgh', I accidentally said 'I'd like a Picket to Tittsburgh.' And then she socked me one."
First guy: "Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife: 'Please pour me a bowl of Wheaties.' But I accidentally said:
'You ruined my life you fuckin' bitch!'"