Typically Jokes

This is an invaluable tool for grading the Redneck experience in immigrants and visitors from the North. This test really can't be cheated on... either you know it or you don't. One Yankee only mustered a 2 or 3, whereas rednecks typically score around 20+.
How many Vienna Sausages are in a can?
What was the number and color of Richard Petty's cars?
Bill Dance is good at what?
What university does Bill Dance root for?
Where did Herschel Walker play (college) football?
After boiling peanuts for an hour you have what?
In cubic inches, how big is the smallest 1966 GM small-block V8?
A Cajun is likely to speak what furrin' language?
What is a chigger?
What is scrapple?
Where is "The Redneck Riviera"?
What's that fuzzy stuff hanging off the oak trees?
What follows logically? Johnson, Mercury, _______________.
What's the common name for a bowfin?
If you mated a heifer and a steer, what would you get?
Who sang more...

This is an invaluable tool for grading the Redneck experience in immigrants and visitors from the North. This test really can't be cheated on. .. either you know it or you don't. One Yankee only mustered a 2 or 3, whereas rednecks typically score around 20+.
How many Vienna Sausages are in a can? What was the number and color of Richard Petty's cars? Bill Dance is good at what? What university does Bill Dance root for? Where did Herschel Walker play (college) football? After boiling peanuts for an hour you have what? In cubic inches, how big is the smallest 1966 GM small-block V8? A Cajun is likely to speak what furrin' language? What is a chigger? What is scrapple? Where is "The Redneck Riviera"? What's that fuzzy stuff hanging off the oak trees? What follows logically? Johnson, Mercury, _______________. What's the common name for a bowfin? If you mated a heifer and a steer, what would you get? Who sang "Your Cheatin' Heart"? What are grits made out of? Who more...

This is what you need to do. Please read these instructions carefully before
beginning.
Tools needed: one hammer, one scredriver, one pair of pliers, one heavy-duty
pair of wire cutters, one bucket of saline water, a box of sani-wipes.
Jokes Stop payment on any checks that you may have sent to your
Internet Service Provider (GOD).
If GOD is unresponsive and you are still receiving mail from this list,
you will need to find the "mailhost". This is a machine usually located in a
locked office. Every day around noon, the mailman will deliver a box of
diskettes with that day's mail messages, including yours from this list, to this
machine. Typically, only a handful of people have keys to the "mailhost". The
reason why this machine is locked up is because this is typically the best,
fastest, most powerful computer at your facility and the people with keys don't
want to share it. If you must, break or pry the door down more...

This is what you need to do. Please read these instructions carefully before beginning.
Tools needed: one hammer, one scredriver, one pair of pliers, one heavy-duty pair of wire cutters, one bucket of saline water, a box of sani-wipes.
Jokes Stop payment on any checks that you may have sent to your Internet Service Provider (GOD).
If GOD is unresponsive and you are still receiving mail from this list, you will need to find the "mailhost". This is a machine usually located in a locked office. Every day around noon, the mailman will deliver a box of diskettes with that day's mail messages, including yours from this list, to this machine. Typically, only a handful of people have keys to the "mailhost". The reason why this machine is locked up is because this is typically the best, fastest, most powerful computer at your facility and the people with keys don't want to share it. If you must, break or pry the door down with one (1) hammer (you did get all the more...

Astrology tells us about people and their future by their time, date and location of birth. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of a person's birth. Demographics tell us what others like, dislike, whom they voted for, as well as what they buy and what they watch on television. The Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by an individual's job title, people can pretty much learn about an employee's hidden personality traits.
MARKETING:
You are ambitious, yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing - which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES:
Laziest of all the Corporate Signs, often referred to as a "marketer without a degree". You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid all contact with customers so you can "concentrate on the big more...