Tyson Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why did Mike Tyson learn to bite ears? A: How else do you tell a 275 pound inmate that "no means no"?

A woman wants to surprise her husband by getting a tatoo. she goes to the parler and gets a tattoo of Mike Tyson on the right thigh, and a tattoo of Evander Holyfeild(sp) on the left thigh. she goes home and shows her husband. Her husband says, "That's supposed to be Mike and Evander? That doesn't look like Mike and Evander!" The wife starts crying and runs out. She's in the middle of the street, and she takes off all her clothes. She decides to ask the next man who walks buy if her tattoos look like Mike and Evander. She stops a guy and asks him, and the guy says, "No, they don't look like Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield, but the one in the middle looks a hell of a lot like Don King!"

Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?
A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!!

Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood.... good thing he didn't say two!

Tyson's favorite football team-the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS.

For the third fight between Mike and Evander, Tyson wants it to be held in Earie, PA.

New Tyson burger: There is a piece of the champ in every bite!!!

They are making a new boxing term for Tyson.... instead of KO, it will be a Van Gogh. "Evander was Van Gogh'd in the third!!!"

Can't beat um... Eat um!!!!

If Tyson fights Golatta, is it more points for a low blow or an ear bite?

In this corner Evander "the Real Meal" Holyfield!!!!!!!

Before the fight, Mike's trainer told him to get a piece of Holyfied. Oops, bad advice.

Iron BITE Tyson, the heavyweight CHOMP of the world!

A man from Tyson Foods is visiting with the Pope. After receiving the papal blessing, he whispers, "Your Eminence, we have a wonderful deal for you. If you will change The Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread... ' to 'give us this day our daily chicken... ' we are prepared to donate $300 million to the Church."
"That is not possible," the Pope responds. "The Prayer is the Word of the Lord and it must not be changed."
"Well," the man from Tyson says, "we are prepared to donate $1 billion to the Church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread... ' to 'give us this day our daily chicken... '"
Again, the Pope responds, "That is not possible. The Prayer is the Word of the Lord and it must not be changed."
Finally, the man from Tyson says, "Your Eminence, this is our final offer. We are prepared to donate $3 billion to the Church if you change the Lord's Prayer from more...

The top 10 reasons for Mike Tyson biting Evander Holyfield's ear: 10. Got a little carried away after seeing "Face/Off"9. Really wanted to win first prize on "America's Funniest Home Videos"8. Like this doesn't happen every year in the Masters7. Whenever Moe bites Curly's ear, it's hilarious! 6. Has to do this kind of thing to compensate for the fact that he talks like Melanie Griffith 5. I guess you've never heard of a little thing called "strategy"4. Ears is tasty3. It was self-defense -- he wouldn't stop punching me! 2. "Disqualified" sounds better than "got his ass kicked all over the ring" 1. He ran out of gum

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Tyson!
Tyson who?
Tyson of this on for size!

NO. 10
Tyson already has his next fight lined up, with Lorena Bobbitt. Winner eats all.
NO. 9
This gives new meaning to "box lunch."
NO. 8
Reporter: "Evander, what did you think when Tyson bit off your ear?" Holyfield: "What?"
NO. 7
Spock-vs.-Tyson bout hastily canceled - John Corl, Rochester, N.Y.
NO. 6
What did Mike Tyson say to Van Gogh? "You gonna eat that?"
NO. 5
Did you hear about the new Mike Tyson computer? It has two bytes and no memory
NO. 4
Next bout: Tyson vs. Hannibal Lecter, with Julia Child to referee. To be held in Hungary. Billed as, "The snackfest in Budapest."
NO. 3
How does Mike Tyson differ from Metallica? Metallica leaves a ringing in your ears. Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.
NO. 2
Slogans for Tys * The T * Da * * Ear-Reconcilable Differences
NO. 1
When interviewed after the fight, Tyson's first remarks were that "it tasted like more...