Udurawana Jokes

Our famous Udurawana was attending a conference in London. He was flying for the first time. Here are some incidents which took place during that trip.
GETTING ON
At Katunayake airport, the passengers were climbing the steps to board the plane. A foreigner missed his step & slipped. He shouted "Oh, I lost my balance!" and the moving got slowed down a bit. Udurawana was at the bottom of the steps anxiously waiting to get in to the plane for the first time and he shouted, "Doesn't matter you fool, I have enough coins in my pocket. I'll give you some later! "
EMBARKATION CARD
When it was closer to London, Passengers were given the embarkation card to fill. Udurawana started filling.
Full Name: Heen Banda Udurawana
Sex: Ticked the Female Box and wrote below: unlike these foreigners, we always have sex with females!
GETTING OFF
Getting off Finally, the plane arrives at Heathrow. Udurawana was excited and anxious to get off. So he more...

Once Udurawana was driving along the highway one evening. All of a sudden, it came a nature call terribly. He saw a little bar up the way and he pulled into the parking lot.
When he got inside, he found the place was packed! The bar ws crowded with people trying to get drinks, ladies were dancing on the tables and there's hardly standing room anywhere.
Udurawana scaned the place a couple of times to find the restrooms, but to no avail. Finally, he spoteda small stairway and scrambled up.
When he got to the top, he discovered that all the doors were locked. except one. When he open the door, all he saw was a big hole in the floor. Desperate, he dropped his pants and dumped the biggest load he's ever had right there in the hole.
Relieved, he calmly walked down the stairs. To his surprise, the once crowded barroom was completely empty, not a soul was in sight. Slowly, a bartender rose from behind the bar.
"What happened!?!" asked Udurawana
The more...

Udurawana rushed back angrily to the grocery shop from where he had purchased a packet of butter a few minutes ago.
"Where is my free gift?" he shouted at the shopkeeper. "But
Sir, there is no free gift on the purchase of butter." The
shopkeeper answered politely.
"Don't fool me," replied udurawana, "it is clearly written
on the packet of the butter' Cholesterol free' but you gave me only butter".

Udurawana: Nurse, I am very eager to know my blood group.
Nurse: B positive
Udurawana: please tell me soon. ...
Nurse: B positive
Udurawana: Madam, I am positive, but eager to know my blood group.

Udurawana bought a new mobile.
He sent a message everyone from his Phone Book & said
"My MobileNo. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"

Udurawana: I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Udurawana: No he is not studying, they r Studying him.

Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Udurawana: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.. ...
Interviewer shouts: Stop it.
Udurawana: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Udurawana: Doctor, In my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Udurawana: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

Udurawana: If I die will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister.
But if I die will u remarry?
Udurawana: No, I'll also stay with your sister
Udurawana: People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife: How do you know??
Udurawana: When I went to the Park more...