Unfinished Jokes

Some items have the strangest directions/ warnings. Here are a few I've noticed.
On a toilet plunger: Do not use as an umbrella.
On a carton of milk: May contain dairy products.
On a tricycle: Will hurt if on top of someone.
On popcorn: Will pop if heated.
On candy: Directions: Take of wrapper, insert into mouth, chew, and swallow. (No, really?)
On bean bags used for juggling: Do not eat.
On lunchmeat: Do not mistake as toilet paper.
On Gameboy: To play, you must have a thumb.
After computer error: Keyboard malfunction, press enter to continue.
On coke bottle: Do not try to insert head.
On skateboard: May move if rode on.
On shampoo bottle: Warning: May create a lather.
Roadsign: Warning: Unfinished bridge 3 miles.
*3 miles later* We told you there was an unfinished bridge!

An unfinished thought is like a day without...

An efficiency consultant gave his critique of Schubert's Unfinished Symphony:

All 12 violins played the same notes. This is unnecessary duplication. Their number should be cut.
For a considerable period oboe players had nothing to do. Their number should be reduced and their work spread evenly among other staff.
No useful purpose is served by repeating with horns the passage that was already handled by the strings. If such redundancies were eliminated, the concert could be cut 20 minutes.
The symphony has two movements. Mr. Schubert should have been able to achieve his musical goals in one.
Conclusion: If Mr. Schubert had paid attention to these matters, he would have had time to finish the symphony.