Unison Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison?
A. Shoot one.

Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise. Q: What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper? A: Good question. We're still trying to find out too. Bagpipes (noun) - I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made object never equalled the purity of sound achieved by the pig. -Alfred Hitchcock Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison? A. Shoot one. Q. What's the definition of a minor second? A. Two bagpipes playing in unison. Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion? A. No one cries when you chop up an bagpipe. Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline? A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline. Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch? A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks. Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded? A. You more...

Q: How do you make him stop playing? A: Put notes on it! Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist? A: Pick on someone your own size! Q: What's the definition of a minor second? A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison.Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? A: Counterpoint.Q: How do you get a guitar player to play softer? A: Give him a sheet of music.Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. One to change the bulb and nineteen to say, "Not bad, but I could've done better".Q: What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig? A: Would you like fries with that? Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond? A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money! Q: What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish? A: You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

How do you get two piccolos to play in perfect unison?
Shoot one.

Q: How do you make him stop playing? A: Put notes on it! Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist? A: Pick on someone your own size! Q: What's the definition of a minor second? A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison. Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? A: Counterpoint. Q: How do you get a guitar player to play softer? A: Give him a sheet of music. Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. One to change the bulb and nineteen to say, "Not bad, but I could've done better". Q: What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig? A: Would you like fries with that? Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond? A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money! Q: What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish? A: You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? Counterpoint.

Q: How do you get two piccolos to play a perfect unison?
A: Shoot one.

Q: What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you chop up an oboe..

Q: What do you call an oboist who is deaf?
A: Principal.

Q: How many English horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but he gyrates so much he'll fall off the ladder.

Q: What's the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

Q: What do a clarinet and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

Q: What's the definition of a nerd?
A: Someone who owns his own alto clarinet.

Q: What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: What's the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?
A: You can tune the lawnmower.

Q: If you were lost in the woods, who more...