Unlawful Jokes / Recent Jokes

NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE HUNTING OF LAWERS Government Department of Fish and "WildLife" Sec. 12001. Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys.2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.8. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, "entrap", or more...

NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE HUNTING OF LAWYERS Government Department of Fish and "WildLife" Sec. 1200
1. Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys.
2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
8. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a more...

Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted.
Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "open bar" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of Cadillac dealerships.
It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, currency, or staged vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, ambulances, or hospitals.
If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.
Harvested attorneys must more...

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny."Unlawful to Pass School Bus from Either Direction"I guess that some people misunderstood that, because now it reads:"Unlawful to Pass Stopped School Bus from Either Direction".

WASHINGTON STATE ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS
1300. 01 GENERAL
Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, ambulances, or hospitals.
If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.
Stuffed or mounted more...

The English language is not to be spoken. You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person. You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile. You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2. It is illegal to give a dog whiskey. In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb. Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire. Kites may not be flown within the city limits. It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck. Spitting is forbidden It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits. One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth. Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays. Cars may not be driven through the town. Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be more...

PC 370.00
A Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys
370.01.01 Any person with a valid California State Rodent or Snake
hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and
sport (non-commercial) purposes.
370.01.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The
use of United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited.
370.01.03 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is
prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If
an attorney IS accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney
should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed to the
nearest car wash.
370.01.04 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a power
boat, helicopter or aircraft.
370.01.05 It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH," "AMBULANCE," or "FREE
SCOTCH"
for the purpose of trapping more...