Upright Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out. He sat his father down on a sofa in the main hallway and went to talk with the administrators. The old man started to tilt slowly toward the left.
A doctor came by and said, "Let me help you." The Doctor piled several pillows on the left side of the old an so he would stay upright. The old man started to tilt slowly to the right. An orderly noticed and put several more pillows on his right side to keep him upright. The old man started to lean forward.
Then a nurse came by and piled several pillows in front of him. About this time, the son returned, "Well, Dad, isn't this a nice place?"
The old man replied, "I guess it's ok, but they won't let me fart."
It was the night of the big symphony concert, and all the town notables showed up to hear it. However, it was getting close to 8 o'clock and the conductor hadn't yet shown up.
The theater's manager was getting desperate, knowing that he'd have to refund everyone's money if he cancelled the concert, so he went backstage and asked all the musicians if any could conduct.
None of them could, so he went around and asked the staff if any of them could conduct. He had no luck there either, so he started asking people in the lobby, in the hope that maybe one of them could conduct the night's concert. He still hadn't found anyone, so he went outside and started asking everybody passing by if they could conduct.
He had no luck whatsoever and by this time the concert was 15 minutes late in starting. The assistant manager came out to say that the crowd was getting restless and about ready to demand their money back. The desperate manager looked around and spied a cat, a dog, and a more...
Santa took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out. He sat his father down on a sofa in the main aisleway and went to talk with the administrators.
Santa's father started to tilt slowly toward the left.
A Doctor came by and said, "Let me help you."
The Doc piled several pillows on the left side of Santa's father so he would stay upright. Santa's father started to tilt slowly to the right. An orderly noticed and put several more pillows on his right side to keep him upright. Santa's father started to lean forward when a nurse came by and piled several pillows in front of him. About this time, Santa returned. Santa, "Well, Dad, isn't this a nice place."
Santa's father replied, "I guess it's ok, but they won't let me fart."
Two friends play cops and robbers as kids, and while one grows up to be a honest and upright cop, the other also grows up to be a honest upright cop!
A poor young man falls in love with a beautiful and very rich girl and when they approach the wealthy, arrogant and powerful father he happily gets them married!
Twins separated in a crowded mela grow up in separate towns, doing different jobs, marrying and having children, without ever meeting again!
Two very close friends fall in love with the same girl and in the touching climax both offer to sacrifice their love for the other and the girl finally declares that she`s a lesbian and decides to live-in with a girl she`s been seeing secretly!
Two young students in the same class in college manage to fall in love with each other without singing any songs in locations in Europe and without any attempt being made to rape the heroine by the local bully. They get married, have nine kids and live happily more...
Two friends play cops and robbers as kids, and while one grows up to be a honest and upright cop, the other also grows up to be a honest upright cop!
A poor young man falls in love with a beautiful and very rich girl and when they approach the wealthy, arrogant and powerful father he happily gets them married!
Twins separated in a crowded mela grow up in separate towns, doing different jobs, marrying and having children, without ever meeting again!
Two very close friends fall in love with the same girl and in the touching climax both offer to sacrifice their love for the other and the girl finally declares that she's a lesbian and decides to live-in with a girl she's been seeing secretly!
Two young students in the same class in college manage to fall in love with each other without singing any songs in locations in Europe and without any attempt being made to rape the heroine by the local bully. They get married, have nine kids and live more...