Upside Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blind man was traveling in his private jet when he detected something was wrong. He made his way to the cockpit and got no response from his pilot. The blind guy then found the radio and started calling the tower. "Help! Help!" The tower came back and asked, "What's the problem?" The blind guy yelled, "Help me! I'm blind... the pilot is dead, and we're flying upside down!" The tower comes back and asked, "How do you know
you're upside down?" "Because the shit is running down my back!"

It was a warm, summer evening and Ma and Pa were sitting on the porch swing enjoying the night sounds.
Suddenly, without reason, Ma hauled off and cuffed Pa a good one right upside the head, causing him to fall off the swing.
Dazed, Pa pulled himself up and asked, "What the hell was that for?"
"That was for 30 years of bad sex!" Ma said. Without replying, Pa sat back down on the swing next to Ma.
After a few minutes of silence, Pa hauled off and smacked Ma upside the head equally hard, knocking her off the swing.
Dazed, Ma pulled herself up and asked, "What was that for?"
"That's for knowing the damn difference!" Pa growled.

Osama sends letter to bush after numerous rounds of, "we don't even know if osama is still alive," osama himself decided to
Send george w. A letter in his own hand writing to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it
Appeared to contain a coded message: 370h ssv-0773h bush was baffled, so he typed it out and emailed it to colin powell.
Colin and his aides had no clue either so they sent it to the cia. No one could solve it so it went to the nsa and then to
Mit and nasa and the secret service and to m15 in britain. Eventually they asked south africa's scorpions for help. The
Scorpions cabled the white house: "tell the president he is looking at the message upside down."

What do you get when you hold a blonde upside down? A brunette with bad breath.

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were sitting on a tree and Santa Singhwas singing a song. After 4 songs Santa Singh hung himself upside downand started singing again.
Banta Singh: Santa Singh what is the matter with you? Why are youhanging upside down?
Santa Singh: I am singing the B side.

A couple walks into a bar: The man goes of to the bog and leaves the women standing at the bar. A bloke goes up to the women and says, "I really really want to squeeze you tit''s. Will you let me?"

The lady turns around and says, "How dare you, get away from me, you sicko!"

The bloke then says, "Oh you have a lovely arse can I rub it, please let me?"

The lady turns around and says, "Look you pervert get away from me! I''ll get my boyfriend to beat you up if you don''t piss off!"

The bloke takes no notice and continues to the woman, "I want to tip you upside down and fill you up with beer and down it in one big gulp."

"RIGHT... THAT IS IT" shouts the woman.

Just then her boyfriend comes out from the bog and says, "Whaz goin'' on here?!?"

The woman says all hysterically, "That bloke over there said he wants to squeeze my more...

A blind man was traveling in his private jet when he detected something was wrong. He made his way to the cockpit and got no response from his pilot.
The blind guy then found the radio and started calling the tower
"Help! Help!"
The tower came back and asked, "What's the problem?"
The blind guy yelled, "Help me! I'm blind... the pilot is dead, and we're flying upside down!"
The tower comes back and asked, "How do you know you're upside down?"
"Because the shit is running down my back!"