Usual Jokes / Recent Jokes
Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says,' Hey Dave, how ya doin?'
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.' Oh no,' says Dave.' He's on my bowling team.'
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says,' You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.'
'No honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'
A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave.' Hi Davey,' she says,' Want your usual table dance?'
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in more...
Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "She's in the Ladies' Bowling League,honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob and starts to rub herself all over him and says,"Hi Bobbie. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Bob follows and spots more...
Frank is a hard worker, puts in a lot of overtime and spends most of his evenings bowling or working out at the gym. His wife, Susan, feels he is pushing himself too hard so, for his birthday, she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Frank, how ya doing tonight?" Susan is puzzled and asks Frank if he's been to the club before. "No, honey," Frank replies, "He's just a guy that works out at the same gym I go to."
When they are seated, a waitress approaches and asks Frank if he'd like his usual scotch. Susan, now becoming uncomfortable, says, "You must come here often for her to know that you drink scotch."
"No, she's in the Ladies Bowling League and we share lanes with them," Frank explains.
Just then, a stripper comes over to their table, throws her arms around Frank and says, "Hi, gorgeous, want your usual table dance?"
Now furious, Susan grabs her purse and more...
Finnegan, drunk as usual, staggers into Church, enters the confessional box, sits down but says nothing. The good irish father coughs a few times to get his attention, but Finnegan just sits there. Finally, the irish priest pounds three times on the wall. Finnegan yells, "Ain`t no use knockin, there`s no paper on this side either."
Why I Fired My Secretary I woke up early, feeling depressed because it was my birthday, and I thought,"I'm another year older," but decided to make the best of it. So I showered andshaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife would greet me with a bigkiss and say, "Happy birthday, dear." All smiles, I went in to breakfast, andthere sat my wife, reading her newspaper, as usual. She didn't say one word. SoI got myself a cup of coffee, made some toast and thought to myself, "Oh well, she forgot. The kids will be down in a few minutes, smiling and happy, and theywill sing' Happy Birthday' and have a nice gift for me." There I sat, enjoyingmy coffee, and I waited. Finally, the kids came running into the kitchen, yelling, "Give me a slice of toast! I'm late! Where is my coat? I'm going tomiss the bus!" Feeling more depressed than ever, I left for the office. When I walked into the office, my secretary greeted me with a great big smileand a more...