Usual Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bob works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says,' Hey, Bob! How ya doing?' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.' Oh no,' says Bob.' He's in my bowling league.
When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,' How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'' I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says,' Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?' Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. more...

Written by: Sister Helen P. Mrosia
He was in the first third grade class I taught at Saint Mary's
School in Morris, Minn. All 34 of my students were dear to me, but
Mark Eklund was one in a million. Very neat in appearance, but had that
happy-to-be-alive attitude that made even his occasional
mischieviousness delightful.
Mark talked incessantly. I had to remind him again and again that
talking without permission was not acceptable. What impressed me
so much, though, was his sincere response every time I had to correct
him for misbehaving - "Thank you for correcting me, Sister!" I didn't
know what to make of it at first, but before long I became accustomed to
hearing it many times a day. One morning my patience was growing thin
when
Mark talked once too often, and then I made a novice-teacher's mistake.
I
looked at him and said, "If you say one more word, I am going to tape
your
mouth more...

Sixth grade science teacher Mr. Sampson asks his class, "Who can tell me which
organ of the human body expands to ten times its usual size when stimulated?"
Nobody raises a hand, so he calls on the first student to look his way. "Mary,
can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to ten times its usual
size when stimulated?"
Mary stands up, blushing furiously. "Sir, how dare you ask such a question?" she
says. "I'm going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal,
who will have you fired!"
Mr. Sampson is shocked by Mary's reaction, but undaunted. He asks the class the
question again, and this time Sam raises his hand. "Yes, Sam?" says Mr. Sampson.
"Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye."
"Very good, Sam. Thank you."
Mr. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, "Mary, I have three things to tell you:
First, it's clear that more...