Vacation Jokes / Recent Jokes

You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When...
You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, "What's this?", you realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox.
A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, "I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one's your turn". Your boss is standing behind you. It's his wife.
While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out.
You return from a week's vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week.
You take a "sick" day. The next morning the boss asks you, "So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?"
You wake up hung over. You have a black eye and barked knuckles. You're in jail. Last night was the company Christmas party.

You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When... You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, "What's this?", you realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox.A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, "I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one's your turn". Your boss is standing behind you. It's his wife.While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out.You return from a week's vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week.You take a "sick" day. The next morning the boss asks you, "So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?".You wake up hung over. You have a black eye and barked knuckles. You're in jail. Last night was the company Christmas party.

Last summer a friend of ours vacationed at a popular resort where he met a young and charming girl. She prided herself on being a good sport and demonstrated this by enjoying just about everything with our friend-dining, dancing, swimming, tennis, horseback riding, motoring-just about everything, in short, except that special enjoyment he was really interested in.
"Oh, come on," he entreated, "you're always saying what a good sport you are- Why draw the line at this?" Appealing to her sense of good sportsmanship finally turned the trick, and the last evening of their vacation was the most enjoyable of all.
Back on the job, our friend had almost forgotten the incident when, just a week ago, the phone rang.
"Do you know who this is?" a sweet, feminine voice asked.
He didn't, of course. "The girl from the lake this summer," she said. "The good sport."
She said she had something important to tell him and wanted to more...

Q: What does a postcard from a blonde's vacation say?
A: Having a fantastic time. Where am I?

Before going on vacation, I decided on the spur of the moment to have my very long, permed hair cut to a very short style shaved to the neck.My first day back, I passed my boss in the hallway. "Did you miss me?" I asked."Miss you?" he echoed. "Who are you?"

"You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When......"You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, "What's this?", you realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, "I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one's your turn". Your boss is standing behind you. It's his wife. While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out. You return from a week's vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week. You take a "sick" day. The next morning the boss asks you, "So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?". You wake up hung over. You have a black eye and barked knuckles. You're in jail. Last night was the company Christmas party.

Billy Bob and Lester were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob told Lester, "Ya know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your suggestions as to where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Marie got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Marie got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Marie didn't get pregnant again!"
Lester asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
Billy Bob says, "This year, I'm takin' Marie with me..."