Variety Jokes / Recent Jokes

Computer scientist Arthur Boran was ecstatic. A few minutes earlier, he had programmed a basic
mathematical problem into his prototypical Akron I computer. His request was simply, "Give me the sum
of every odd number between zero and ten." The computer's quick answer, 157, was unexpected, to say
the least. With growing excitement, Boran requested an explanation of the computer's reasoning. The
printout read as follows: THE TERM "ODD NUMBER" IS AMBIGUOUS. I THEREFORE CHOOSE TO INTERPRET IT AS
MEANING "A NUMBER THAT IS FUNNY LOOKING." USING MY AESTHETIC JUDGEMENT, I PICKED THE NUMBERS 3, 8,
AND 147, ADDED THEM UP, AND GOT 157.
A few moments later there was an addendum: I GUESS I MEANT 158.
Followed shortly thereafter by: 147 IS MORE THAN 10, ISN'T IT? SORRY.
Anyone doing conventional research would have undoubtedly consigned the hapless computer to the scrap
heap. But for Boran, the Akron I's response more...

Dear Santa:I rarely ask for much. This year is no exception. I don't need diamond earrings, handy slicer-dicers or comfy slippers. I only want one little thing, and I want it deeply.I want to slap Martha Stewart.Now, hear me out, Santa. I won't scar her or draw blood or anything. Just one good smack, right across her smug little cheek. I get all cozy inside just thinking about it. Don't grant this wish just for me, do it for thousands of women across the country. Through sheer vicarious satisfaction, you'll be giving a gift to us all. Those of us leading average, garden variety lives aren't concerned with gracious living.We feel pretty good about ourselves if our paper plates match when we stack them on the counter, buffet-style for dinner. We're tired of Martha showing us how to make centerpieces from hollyhock dipped in 18-carat gold. We're plumb out of liquid gold. Unless it's of the furniture polish variety. We can't whip up Martha's creamy holiday sauce, spiced with turmeric. more...