Vibrator Jokes / Recent Jokes

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.
"What are you doing?" she exclaimed.
The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."
Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on a sofa with her vibrator.
"What are you doing?" he exclaimed.
The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."
A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room. Upon entering the room, she found her husband watching television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him. She asked, "What are you more...

A blonde enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."
She says, "I'll take the red one."
The man replies, "That's a fire extinguisher."

A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with her vibrator.
"What are you doing?", asked the Mom.
"Mom I am 40 years old and look at me. I am ugly. I will never get married so this is pretty much my husband."
The mother walked out of the room, shaking her head.
The next day the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom and upon entering the room found his daughter using the vibrator. "What the hell are you doing?", he asked.
His daughter replied, "I already told Mom. I am 40 years old now and ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband."
The father walked out of the room shaking his head too.
The next day the Mother came home to find her husband with a beer in one hand, and the vibrator in the other hand, watching the football game.
"For Christ's sake, what are more...

A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with her vibrator.
"What are you doing?", asked the Mom.
"Mom I am 40 years old and look at me. I am ugly. I will never get married so this is pretty much my husband."
The mother walked out of the room, shaking her head.
The next day the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom and upon entering the room found his daughter using the vibrator.
"What the hell are you doing?", he asked.
His daughter replied, "I already told Mom. I am 40 years old now and ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband."
The father walked out of the room shaking his head too.
The next day the Mother came home to find her husband with a beer in one hand, and the vibrator in the other hand, watching the football game.
"For Chrissakes, what are more...

As the woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, "What in the world are you doing?"
The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."
The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said, "Dad, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."
A couple days later, the wife came home from shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise more...

A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with her vibrator."What are you doing?", asked the Mom."Mom I am 40 years old and look at me. I am ugly. I will never get married so this is pretty much my husband."The mother walked out of the room, shaking her head.The next day the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom and upon entering the room found his daughter using the vibrator. "What the hell are you doing?", he asked.His daughter replied, "I already told Mom. I am 40 years old now and ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband."The father walked out of the room shaking his head too.The next day the Mother came home to find her husband with a beer in one hand, and the vibrator in the other hand, watching the football game."For Christ's sake, what are you doing?" she cried.The husband more...

Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: What are YOU shaking for? She's going to eat me!