Vice Jokes / Recent Jokes

Nixon: WaterGate.
Clinton: ZipperGate.

Nixon: His Vice President was a Greek.
Clinton: His Vice President is a geek.

Nixon: Couldn't stop Kissinger.
Clinton: Couldn't stop kissing her.

"Quaylisms"
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have
was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse
with those people."
- J. Danforth Quayle
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." - J. Danforth
Quayle
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and
child."
- Vice President Dan Quayle
"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts." -
Vice President Dan Quayle
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same
distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures
where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that
means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
- Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/11/89
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is
being very wasteful. How more...

Once there was a huge secret gathering for the polital leaders of the world. But after the discussion, as they were riding back on the jumbo jet, the engines malfunctioned, due to increased weight. All the secretaries, assistants, vice presidents and so forth were instructed to grab a parachute and glide to one of the small islands nearby, were they would be picked up within 3 hours. After most of them jumped they needed just a few more jumps but were out of islands and parachutes, meaning sacrifice. The French man went calmly, The Brit said "God SaveThe Queen", and jumped, and President Bush and Cheney said, "Remember the Alamo!" and pushed the Mexican President and Vice out the plane.