Village Jokes / Recent Jokes

Paul Revere's horse galloped down the country road. The life of the colonies depended on his warning the people that the British were coming. He approached a farmhouse.
"Is your husband at home?" he called to the woman feeding chickens in the yard.
"He's back in the barn, Paul," she answered.
"Tell him to get his musket and go to the village square. The Redcoats are coining!"
The exchange of words had taken but an instant; Revere's horse had not broken its stride. The famous patriot thundered off towards the next farm.
"Is your husband at home?" Revere called to the woman in the doorway of the next farmhouse he approached.
"He's asleep in his room, Paul," she said.
"Tell him to get on his clothes," Revere cried.' The Minute Men are meeting at the village square. The British are coming!"
Horse and rider galloped on to still another home.
"Is your husband at home?" he more...

In a very small village, a man goes to the village optician and tells him that he sees everything very small. The optician had only one hypermetric glasses left with him till he gets the new stock. Optician says please use them as much as you can. Anyway the man goes out of his shop and there is a fruit store. He indicates to the fresh fruits on a tray and asks " Eh naram je kharbooje da ki bha hai?
Fruit seller says"(e kharbooje nai angoor ne Bauji"

One day a DIG had to visit an Inspector of police who lived in a village. Since there were few important people in the village the Inspector was considered most important. Also it was evening therefore the DIG decided to visit the Inspector at home. when he went to the house a servant came out, and the DIG asked for the inspector. Lokuhamuduruwo gedara ne was the reply. Thinking he could leave a message with the inspector's son he asked for him. Podi hamuduruwoth gedara ne was the reply. The DIG was impressed a mere Inspector was being referred to as hamuduruwo. The servant wanted to know if the DIG wanted to leave a message. The DIG thought for a moment. Reflecting upon his superior rank he said the servant: "Ehenang buduhamuduruwo evith giya kiyanna"

A missionary is sent into deepest darkest depths of Africa to live with atribe. He spends years with the people, teaching them to read, write andgood Christian values. One thing he particularly stresses is the evil ofsexual sin.? Thou must not commit adultery or fornication!? One day the wife of one of the Tribe? s noblemen gives birth to a white baby. The village is shocked and the chief is sent by his people to talk with themissionary. You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin, yet here a black woman givesbirth to a white child. You are the only white man who has ever set foot inour village. Anyone can see what? s going on here!? The missionary replies,? No, no, my good man. You are mistaken. What youhave here is a natural occurrence - what is called an albino. Look to thyyonder field. See a field of white sheep, and yet amongst them is one blackone. Nature does this on occasion.? The chief pauses for a moment then says,? Tell you what, you don? t sayanything about the sheep, I more...

A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders senta message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast. For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give himits hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture towait for the lion. In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion."What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief."Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?"

Paddy lurches out of the pub and bumps straight into Father Murphy, the village priest.
"Patrick," says the priest, "I am so sorry to see you come out of such a place as that!"

"Well, then," says Paddy, turning around, "I will go right back."

When a small Montana village decided to buy a new fire truck, the town council met to decide what to do with the old one. Randall, an old rancher, stood up. "Ah think we should keep the old truck," he said. "We can use it for all them false alarms!"