Virgin Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day, Mary was sitting in her class in Catholic school. Suddenly, the teacher asked a question, because she didn't look like she was paying any attention.
"Why was Mary called the Virgin Mary?"
Mary's answer made the teacher faint, and I'm not surprised.
"I AM NOT A VIRGIN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!"
A young Italian bride was having a talk with her mother on her wedding
night.
She said, "MaMa, I'va never been with a man before and I'm ascared.
Whattama gonna do?"
Her mother says, "Baby, just go to your husband, and you'll know what
to do".
So, the nervous bride goes upstairs to her husband and closes the
bedroom door behind her. While she's standing across the room, her
husband takes off his shirt.
"Oh, my goodness" she screams as she runs out the door and down the
stairs to her mother.
"MaMa, he's a gotta hair all over his a chest!"
Her mother replies, "Honey, that's OK, he's a man, he's supposed to
have a hairy chest. Now go up back to your husband."
The nervous bride again goes back upstairs to the bedroom and closes
the door. Her husband takes off his pants.
"Oh me goodness!" she screams as she runs out the door and down the
stairs to more...
Bob and Jane get married and are on their honey moon. They are about to get busy when Jane says that she is a virgin. Bob runs to the kitchen and calls his dad.
Bob says, "Dad you gotta help me, jane just told me that she is still a virgin, what do I do?"
Dad says, "get rid of her right now!!!"
Bob, "Why I love her, why should I leave her?"
Dad says, "Because if she ain't good enough for her brother, mom, or dad, then she ain't good enough for us."
In the middle of his honeymoon, the young hillbilly bridegroom left his bride back at the hotel and shows up at his parents house completely distraught. His father asks him, "Son, why you not with you bride on you honeymoon?" The boy replies, "Daddy I was jus' gettin ready to love my bride when she tell me she want me to know she a virgin. So I come to ask what do I do?" The father says, "Boy don' be tellin me you don' know what do wid a womin, specially a virgin.." The boy says, "Daddy, course I knows what to do wid a woman, but dis be ma wife." The father replies, "So what difference dis make?" To which the son says, "Well daddy, I jus got to figure if she ain't good nuff for her own family she shore ain't good enough for ours!"
The following were answers provided by 6th graders during a history test. Watch the spelling! Some of the best humor is in the misspelling.
Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened read, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
In the Olympic games, Greeks ran more...