Visa Jokes / Recent Jokes

Just got my visa application for Taiwan (upcoming business trip). Reading the English language directions carefully, it says in the upper right corner: Please attach 2 recent bust photos (taken within last three months) Makes me think I should be sure to ask for the application for males next time.

A guy comes to the US embassy to ask for a visa. When he reaches the sex question he fills in once or twice a week.
The clerk at the desk sees the answer and says: "You should have filled in Male or Female!"
"It's doesn't matter to me, which one.", answered the guy.

Why was the Marxist leader dumbstruck on arrival at US airport?
Boy, who said Communism is not prevalent in this part of the world, there is Arri-val everywhere.

What processor does a Mallu have in his PC?
A Pendium

What does a Mallu do to run for elections in Hongkong?
Change his name from Thankachan to Than Ka Chan.

What does a Mallu do to run for elections in England?
Change his name from Vaideswaran to Vaides Waran.

What will a mallu reply when asked "Are there any mosquitoes in your house?
Plendy

Why did the Malayalee crossed the road?
Simbly.

How does a malayalee spell the word' MOON'?
Yem wo yettanudherwo yen-uh!

Why do they require 5 people for a Malayalee funeral?
Four to carry the coffin, one to carry the two-in-one.

How does a Malayalee travel in Chembur?
BY ODO

Where did the malayalee study?
In the more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Visa!
Visa who?
Visa the ones you want?

I read this in one of the usenet news groups (misc.news.southasia).
According to US Ambassador to India Frank Wisner, an Indian told
the US embassy he wanted a visa in time for former president
Ronald Reagan's funeral.
"Somewhat taken aback, our consular officer advised the applicant
that Mr. Reagan is still very much alive," Wisner said.
"I'm aware of that," came the reply. "I would rather wait there
than here," the Indian told the visa officer.
Wisner did not say whether the man eventually got the US visa, an
elusive document coveted by most traveling Indians.

your bodys name should be visa cause its every where I want to be

I was once with a tour group visiting the UK. As we filed past the immigration officer (at Heathrow), each one showed his passport, was asked why (s)he was visiting ["Well sir, I'm with this group that is visiting your lovely. .."], and got a one-week tourist visa stamp.

When it was my turn, I said I was going to topple the oppressive government and the entire class system, teach everyone to cook like the French, and free the masses from their servitude, but since I didn't want to stay and experience the ensuing chaos, I might as well get a tourist visa too.

He said, "Normally I'd tell you such a job is rather a large undertaking, and stamp you for two weeks, but I suspect you're kidding," and gave me the same as the rest.