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There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.
Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas." When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas." After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"

Jack went to see a psychiatrist. "Doc, I think I'm going crazy and you just have to help me. Every time I get into bed, I think there's someone under it. I get under the bed, and I think there's someone on top of it. Top, under, top, under, over and over again."
"Put yourself in my hands for one year," the doctor said. "Come to see me three times a week and I will cure your fears."
"How much do you charge, doctor?" Jack asked.
"My fee is one hundred dollars per visit," replied the doctor.
"I'll think about it, doc," Jack said.
Several months later, the doctor met Jack on the street. "Why didn't you come back to see me again?" asked the doctor.
"For a hundred dollars a visit?" Jack exclaimed. "A bartender cured me for a mere ten dollars."
"Really? How did he do that?" the doctor asked.
"He told me to cut the legs of the bed!" Jack replied.

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!"
The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a restaurant. Upon arriving, he ordered a drink and got a mug placed between his hands.
He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!"
The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."
After a couple of drinks, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located.
The bartender replied, "Second door to the right."
The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.
Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"

The father, passing through his son's college town late one evening on a business trip, thought he would pay his boy a surprise visit.
Arriving at the lad's fraternity house, dad rapped loudly on the door. After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second floor window, "Waddyah want?"
"Does Ramsey Duncan live here?" asked the father.
"Yeah," replied the voice. "Dump him on the front porch."

On his first visit to the zoo, a little boy stared at the caged stork for a long time. Then he turned to his father and said; "Gee, Dad, stork doesn`t recognized me."

Brenda, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to herobstetrician's office. When the exam was over, she shyly began, "Myhusband wants me to ask you...""I know, I know." the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on hershoulder, "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late Inthe pregnancy." "No, that's not it at all," Brenda confessed. "He wants to know ifI can still mow the lawn."