Vodka Jokes / Recent Jokes
Seven bartenders were asked if they could identify personality on what drinks were chosen. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.The results:IF WOMEN DRINK:Drink: Beer. Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth. Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.Drink: Blender drinks with umbrella. Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass. Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.Drink: Mixed drinks - no umbrellas Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.Drink: Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.Drink: Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has absolutely no clue. Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.Drink: Baileys. Personality: Annoying more...
Numerous people fell ill in Russia yesterday from cheap vodka laced with a toxic medical disinfectant. The vodka turned many people's skin and eyes a shade of yellow. Since the story broke multiple cases of the brand have been ordered by frat houses here in the states.
New mixed drinks contest winners
With no further ado, here the names are, in alphabetical
order. Which one do you think was THE winner?
Absolut Zero…………. Absolut vodka over frozen nitrogen
Alexander the Grrreat…. Gin, creme de cacao, and sweet cream over corn flakes
American in Paris…….. Kentucky bourbon and champagne
Black Sabbath…………Kahlua and Mogen David wine
Blind Faith………….. Wood alcohol and sacramental wine
Blood Clot……………Vodka, tomato juice, and Jell-O
Bloody Awful…………. Vodka and ketchup
Blue Moon……………. Corn whiskey and Aqua Velva
Coleman Cooler……….. White wine, soda, fried chicken crumbs, and sand
Fuzzy Naval Base………Peach schnapps, orange juice, and ammonia
George Bush………….. George Dickel bourbon and Busch beer
Gorbachev……………. Vodka with a splash of port wine
Honeydew the Dishes……Midori and Dawn
Marie more...
A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the Best Vodka out of his pack, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..." Saying that, he opens the window and throws the rest of the bottle through it. All the others are quite impressed. The Cuban takes out a pack of Havanas, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas. Nowhere in the world there is so many and so good cigare and we have so much of them, that we can just throw them away..". Saying that, he throws the pack of havanas thru the window. Again, everybody is quite impressed. At this time, the American just stands up, opens the window, and throws the Lawyer through it..
A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train.
The Russian takes a bottle of the Best Vodka out of his pack, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukrainia. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..."
Saying that, he opens the window and throws the rest of the bottle through it.
All the others are quite impressed.
The Cuban takes out a pack of Havanas, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas.
Nowhere in the world there is so many and so good cigare and we have so much of them, that we can just throw them away..".
Saying that, he throws the pack of havanas thru the window.
Again, everybody is quite impressed.
At this time, the American just stands more...
Two Americans, a businessman and a lawyer, were traveling on a train in Europe. Sharing the compartment with them were a Cuban and a Russian.
After an hour of travel, the Russian takes a brand new bottle of vodka out and asks if any of his companions would like to have a drink with him. All accept and so the Russian pours a drink for the other three and himself. Then he throws the rest of the bottle out the window of the train. The American businessman looks on in disbelief.
"Why did you throw that fine bottle of vodka out the window? In the US that brand of vodka is very expensive!"
The Russian replied: "In my country we have all the vodka we'll ever be able to drink. It's one thing that we have plenty of. I'll get a dozen bottles just like it for the equivalent of one US dime."
After everyone had finished their vodka, the Cuban got out a new box of fine Havana cigars and asked if any of his companions would like one to smoke. Every one more...
A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the Best Vodka out of his pack, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In USSR, we have the best vodka of the world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in the Ukraine. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..." Saying that, he open the window and throw the rest of the bottle thru it. All the others are quite impressed.
The Cuban takes a pack of Havana's, takes one of them, lights it and begins to smoke it saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havana, nowhere in the world there is so many and so good cigar and we have so much of them, that we can just throw them away...".
Saying that, he throws the pack of Havana's thru the window. One more time, everybody is quite impressed.
At this time, the American just stands up, opens the window, and throws the Lawyer through it...