"bartender survey" joke

Seven bartenders were asked if they could identify personality on what drinks were chosen. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.The results:IF WOMEN DRINK:Drink: Beer. Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth. Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.Drink: Blender drinks with umbrella. Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass. Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.Drink: Mixed drinks - no umbrellas Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.Drink: Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.Drink: Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has absolutely no clue. Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.Drink: Baileys. Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart. Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.Drink: Shorts (Vodka, Aftershock etc.). Personality: Hanging with male pals or looking to get drunk...and naked. Approach: Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.IF MEN DRINK -As always, very simple and clear cut.Cider: He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.Cheap Domestic Beer: He's poor / student and wants to get laid.Premium Local Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.Bitter: He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid.Imported Beer: He likes expensive beer and wants to get laidGuinness: The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.Vodka or Brandy: Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.Port: Thinks he's sophisticated, secretl

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