Wal-mart Jokes / Recent Jokes

A fan wearing a Kansas City Royals shirt was caught robbing a Wal-Mart. As a Royals fan, the man will have no trouble pleading insanity.

Wal-Mart Stores Inc. will cut about 11,200 jobs at Sam's Club warehouses as it turns over the task of product demonstrations to an outside company A spokesman for Wal-Mart said the jobs will be outsourced to India. So if you want to sample the onion dip before buying it, you'll have to fly to Calcutta.

My computer broke down. It crashed and burned! And for my AOL, I really yearned! I tried to stay busy...And keep it off my mind. It was worse than cigarettes, at least butts I can find! So I went to Wal-Mart, and got on their pc. The cashier in electronics was staring at me.But I didn't care. I had to get on line! Check my mail, and see what buddies I can find. I drew a crowd as I began to cry.I couldn't find the password no matter how hard I tried! I need my AOL! I got to have my fix! Go to my favorite places, check out some cool pics.The cashier called Security! I heard her whisper low, "We have ourselves a Psycho here and she has got to go!" Security rushed over. Not long did he stall. Obviously he has never suffered from AOL withdrawal. He slapped cuffs on my wrists and threw me out the door! Then he looked at me and said, "Don't come round here no more!"I feel so embarrassed! I have sunk so low! To be kicked out of Wal-Mart... How low can I go? So I'll try more...

Wal-Mart Stores Inc. - under increasing attacks for what its critics call inadequate health care coverage for its 1.3 million workers - is preparing to sell generic prescription drugs to its employees and customers at reduced prices, according to published reports.
However, one generic drug -Sweatshopacil- will be given to Wal Mart employees for free.
For those who don't know what it is, Sweatshopacil is a drug that alleviates depression caused by working in crappy conditions for slave wages.
Side effects include nausea, oily stool, and losing the mental ability to read pro-union literature.

A very ugly woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids. The Wal-Mart greeter asks, "Are they twins?"

The ugly woman says, "No, he's 9 and she's 7. Why? Do you think they really look alike?"

"No," replies the greeter. "I just can’t believe you got laid twice."

Why is there no Wal-Mart in Iraq?
Because everywhere is Target!

Despite scattered reports of violence, U. S. shoppers sustained minimal
casualties during the first few days of the holiday shopping blitz that
began last Friday.
But rampant consumerism turned deadly at a Wal-Mart in Kentucky yesterday
when two shoppers were slain by a heavily armed Robosapien, a remote-control
robot that is one of this year’s hottest gifts. Police are trying to
determine whether the toy acted alone or was operated by a disgruntled
human.
The death toll now stands at three - a Texas tot was crushed by a giant
SpongeBob SquarePants - but analysts say it could climb as determined
consumers battle for coveted items under the pressure of a Dec. 25 deadline.
The annual battle to purchase material goods for Jesus’s birthday began the
day after Thanksgiving (aka Black Friday) with a coordinated pre-dawn
assault on the nation’s retailers.
Bargain-hunting consumers coast-to-coast mobbed the nearest more...