Wal-mart Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lady goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel for her hubbie. She doesn't know which one to get, so walks over to the register. A Wal-mart associate is standing there with sunglasses on. She says, "Excuse me sir... can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am, I'm blind, but if you'll drop it on the counter I can tell you about it." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 220 reel and a 10-lb test line... It's a good all-around rod and reel, and it's $20." She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for, so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register. She bends down to get her purse and farts. At first, she's embarrassed but then realizes that there's no way he would know it was her because being blind, he wouldn't know she was the only person there. He more...

You have more than 500 rounds of ammunition in your house....not including 22 caliber.You have guns in your house that you cannot find.You think a night of fine dining is going to the Snack Bar at Wal-Mart while the automotive department is raising your truck another 8 inches.You think Wal-Mart is expensive.You've got more guns "On Display" than Wal-Mart Sporting Goods.You have ever written a check for less than a dollar.Your horse wears shoes, but you don't.It doesn't bother you when you walk through a barn barefooted.

A blond gets a new cell phone from her husband. The next day she goes to Wal-mart and her phone rings, so she answers it.
It was her husband. He says, "How's the new cell phone?"
She replied, "Great... but how did you know I was at Wal-mart?"

Wal-Mart is offering an employee discount on all caskets--good news for Wal-Mart greeters.

...a Wal-Mart shopper, after purchasing a wallet, found 10 human teeth in a zipperred compartment.... Wal-Mart, where we take a bite out of high prices.

A Pennsylvania jury has said Wal-Mart must pay $78 million in damages to current and former employees for forcing them to work "off the clock" and during rest breaks.
A Wal-Mart spokesman responded, "Hmm, so I guess our new plan to have workers stock shelves while giving birth is out of the question?"

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. Val mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but Val begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, Val grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when...
... the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.