Wall Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sometimes, it seems like some people are just plain *doomed*. If you don't believe it, consider these weird incidents: *A fierce gust of wind blew 45-year-old Vittorio Luise's car into a river near Naples, Italy, in 1983. He managed to break a window, climb out and swim to shore - where a tree blew over and killed him. *Mike Stewart, 31, of Dallas was filming a movie in 1983 on the dangers of low-level bridges when the truck he was standing on passed under a low-level bridge - killing him. *Walter Hallas, a 26-year-old store clerk in Leeds, England, was so afraid of dentists that in 1979 he asked a fellow worker to try to cure his toothache by punching him in the jaw. The punch caused Hallas to fall down, hitting his head, and he died of a fractured skull. *George Schwartz, owner of a factory in Providence, R.I., narrowly escaped death when a 1983 blast flattened his factory except for one wall. After treatment for minor injuries, he returned to the scene to search for files. The more...

Picasso's mistress was losing her eyesight so he took her to an opthomologist in Paris. Upon examination, the doctor reported that nothing could be done and she would soon become blind. Picasso then sought out the best eye doctor in all of France, but got the same prognosis. He even took her to the best doctor in all of Europe, to no avail. He then decided to take her for a trip around the world so that she could see the sights before totally losing eyesight. They were in San Francisco when they saw a sign reading "Sam Smith-Eye Doctor, Free Consultation". Picasso figured that it couldn't do any harm to try this doctor as she was going to be blind anyway. After a thorough examination, Dr. Smith reported that when he did an operation in cases like hers that it would cure her. Picasso agreed to have the operation performed. After the operation and a few weeks of recovery, the doctor removed the bandages, and what do you know, she could see 20/20. Picasso was overjoyed and more...

your momma is so fat, if she were bricks she would be the great wall of china

A Jehovah's Witness knocked on the front door of a home, and heard a faint, high pitched, "Come In". He tried the door and it was locked, so he went around to the back door. He knocked again and heard again the high pitched "Come In". As he entered the kitchen a large, mean, snarling Doberman met him. As he plastered himself against the wall he called out for help. Again, he heard the "Come In". He slid down the wall to the living room to see a parrot in cage. He said, "For Pete's sake, is that all you can say is' Come In'?!" The parrot laughed and said "Sic him!"

During a grouse hunt in North Carolina two intrepid sportsmen were blasting away at a clump of trees near a stone wall.
Suddenly a red-faced country squire popped his head over the wall and shouted, "Hey, you almost hit my wife."

"Did I?" cried the hunter, aghast. "Terribly sorry. Have a shot at mine over there."

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to got to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," was the man`s reply.
"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O`Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O`Toole said, "No, I don`t Father."
The priest said, "I don`t believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don`t want to go to heaven?"
O`Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

a bloke finishes work goes to the pub, and asks for a pint. he sees the wall covered in