Walnuts Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three conventioneers had finally managed to tire their wives to go back to
the hotel and finally located a house of negotiable affection. The madam
was crestfallen.
"Sorry fellows, all the girls are busy... No one left but me."
"Gee, we spent most of the evening getting rid of our wives and we're leaving
tomorrow, isn't there anything you can do?"
"Well there's always me, I give specials..."
The first guy decided he'd go for it and when he came back downstairs he had
a grin ear to ear.
"How was it? How much was it?"
"It was great! I got the $25 special. She has this can of Readi-Whip and
she sprays it all around and then licks it off, great!"
The second fellow doesn't hesitate, bolts up the stairs and is back after a
while, grinning like the first.
"How was it? How much was it?"
"It was super! I got the $50 special. Same as Jack, the Readi-Whip, but
she had more...

Schwartz walks into a theatrical agent's office, and he's carrying a little black bag.
The agent says, "Well, let's see your act."
Schwartz reaches into the black bag and takes out a hammer and a few walnuts. He puts the walnuts on his head and smashes them with the hammer.
He says to the agent, "Well, what do you think?"
The agent says, "That's your act?"
Schwartz says, "Yep."
The agent asks, "What else have you got in the black bag?"
Schwartz replies, "Aspirin."