War Jokes / Recent Jokes

Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.
Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like more...

Between the ages of 15 and 18, a woman is like China or Iran. Developing at
a sizzling rate with a lot of potential, but as yet still not free or open.
Between the ages of 18 and 21, a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is
half-discovered, half-wild and naturally beautiful, with bushland around the
fertile deltas.
Between the ages of 21 and 30, a woman is like America or Japan. Completely
discovered, very well developed and open to trade, especially with countries
with cash or cars.
Between the ages of 30 and 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed
and convinced of its own beauty.
Between the ages of 35 and 40, a woman is like France or Argentina. She may
have been half-destroyed during the war, but can still be a warm and
desirable place to visit.
Between the ages of 40 and 50, she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the
war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is more...

Q. Why did congress enact the Marine Corps? A. So, the sailors would have someone to dance with!

A bus driver is conducting a tour of famous Civil War battle sites. “Here,” he points out at one spot, “is where the Southern troops routed a whole regiment of Yankees.Over there, the Rebs wiped out a whole platoon of Yanks. Down about a mile, there's
another valley where we captured a thousand Union soldiers.”A tourist says, “Didn't the North ever win a battle?”“Yes, ma'am. But not while I'm driving this bus.”

During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddyback road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red faced colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" askedthe lieutenant as he pulled alongside."Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him thekeys, "*Yours* is."

Shortly after being assigned to a new base, a Lieutenant and his wife were invited to the Colonel's home for an evening of bridge. The Lieutenant was partnered with the Colonel's wife and vice versa. After many hands, theLieutenant excused himself to use the toilet, but accidentally left the door ajar. When the sound of splashing echoed through the family room, his wife was greatly embarrassed and attempted to apologize, to which theColonel's wife smiled demurely, "Don't worry about it; this is the first time all evening that I've been able to tell what he has in his hand."

Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly. Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. Man who walk thru airport turn stile sideways going to Bangkok. Man with one chop stick go hungry. Man who scratches ass should not bite finger nails. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk. Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth. War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it. Man who drive like hell bound to get there. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement. more...