War Jokes / Recent Jokes
Those who are at war with others are seldom at peace with themselves.
Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being an all male combat force, they decided to request coeds from some of the surrounding colleges to attend.The Captain called Vassar and was assured by the Dean that arrangements could be made to send over a dozen of their most trustworthy students.The Captain hesitated, then said, "Would it also be possible to send a dozen or so of the other kind ?"
Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. Man with one chopstick go hungry. Man who scratches butt should not bite fingernails. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk. Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth. War not determine who right, war determine who left. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it. Man who drive like hell bound to get there. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement. Man who fishes in other man's well often catches more...
Q. What's the difference between the Vietnam War and the Iraq War?
A. George W. Bush had a plan to get out of the Vietnam War.
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Q: What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
A: You shout out, "B-52"
An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, "Englander, your arm is infected with gangrene vee must cut it off." The English prisoner said, "Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing?" The German replied, "Ya, that vill not be a problem." A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off. The Englishman says, "Well, could drop it over England like you did last time?""Ya, that vill be done," says the German. The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off. Once again the Brit says, "Well, could you do the same as before?" The German replies, "Vhy, ya." The next the German tells him they have to cut his other leg. "Well," begins the Brit, "could you just..." The German snapped, "No! We think you are trying to more...
A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part
of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines,
the captain asked for questions.
Our intrepid solder raised his hand and asked, "If we do happen
to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?"
"Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air
and scatter oneself over a wide area."
A man was sent to war in the middle east. Upon entering the camp he is greeted by his superior who informs him that this is a peaceful camp and if he should ever become horny that the answer to all his problems was located behind the camp wall. When he looked over the wall he saw a huge hairy camel and vowed that he would never become horny here and that he could wait until he got home.
Two weeks passe and he soon became extremely horny so he tolded one of his mates his problem. The other guy said " No problem. Just look over that wall there and there is the answer to all your problems."
The guys face lights up with joy and he ran over to the wall expecting to see something different but it was still the same old camel. He thought no way in hell and went about his business.
A month later he couldn't take it anymore. He asked another guy what to do and he said "Behind the wall is the answer to all your problems." The guy sighed but was so horny he more...