Warming Jokes / Recent Jokes

i bet, one day, after the world blows up, we'll all look back at global warming and all the other "theories" and just laugh and laugh.

Top Ten Good Things About Global Warming
10. Domino's Pizza will not be almost room temperature when it arrives.
9. No more snow for Giants fans to throw.
8. Outside chance the cast of "Friends" will spontaneously combust.
7. Boardrooms across America will begin to look like those naked pictures in National Geographic.
6. Ed Sullivan Theater will heat up to a balmy 34 degrees.
5. Fat guys can make their own gravy.
4. Canada will be able to use a whopping 9% of its landmass.
3. Real bacon will be sold on the streets of New York City (cut to vendor).
2. Can get to see what Michael Jackson really looks like when his face melts.
1. Higher temperature = more golf courses = greater chance O.J. will catch real killers.

How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party

The following is a letter sent to Miller Brewing Company. Miller's response is at the end.
Miller Brewing Company
Milwaukee, Wisconsin 53201
Dear Sir or Madam,
I have been a drinker of Miller beer's for many years (actually, ever since that other company donated a big chunk of change to Handgun Control Inc. back in the mid 80's).
Initially, my beer of choice was Lite, but some time in mid 1990 while in Honduras, I switched to MGD smuggled up from Panama. Now, for nearly six years, I have been a faithful drinker of MGD.
For these past years, I have come to expect certain things from Genuine Draft. I expect that whenever I see that gold can of MGD, I am about ready to enjoy a great, smooth brew.
But wait! Sometime around the first of the year, my beloved MGD changed colors, so to speak. That familiar gold can was no longer gold! Knowing that I am, by nature, somewhat resistant to change, I
forced myself to reserve judgment on the new can more...

Everyone is talking about things like hybrid cars and solar panels as ways to save energy and stem the tide of gloabal warming, but these methods are expensive and inconvenient. That's why DailyComedy is offering ways to help the environment that, although almost completely ineffective, aren't overly burdensome.
So here they are, in no particular order: The five least effective ways to combat global warming:

5. Lose the electric toothbrush. The jury is still out on whether electric toothbrushes are better at removing plaque than the old-fashioned kind. So why not save precious electricity and get a light workout at the same time?
4. Try parking in the driveway now and then instead of driving all the way into the garage. When the weather is mild, you can use this technique to save (literally) pennies worth of gas.
3. The less a car weighs, the less power it requires and the more fuel-efficient it is. But even if you drive an SUV, you can still lighten the load by more...

“Joint Chiefs of Staff [Chair] Peter Pace is leaving his job. He’s the one who announced that all homosexual acts are immoral, and so is adultery. No wonder he left. He attacked all the members of Congress. ” –Jay Leno
“Paris Hilton is behind bars, but still no word on Osama. ” –David Letterman
“By a vote of 93-5, the Louisiana state House has voted to make it illegal for teachers to have sex with their students. Here’s my question: Who are the five people who voted for it? ” –Jay Leno
“Yesterday at the G8 Summit, Russian President Vladimir Putin offered to let President Bush build a missile defense system in Azerbaijan. There was an awkward moment when Bush said, ‘I believe the correct pronunciation is Abracadabra. ’” –Conan O’Brien
“There seems to be tension between President Bush and Russian President Vladimir Putin. Again, President Bush thinks this is good. He thinks a new Cold War could help end global warming. ” –Jay more...