Warranty Jokes / Recent Jokes

In 1993, sometime in December, a customer walks in with a dead PowerBook 165. Fault description: hangs on startup. An additional symptom provided was: whilst being carried from the customer's site to our service center, a' sloshing' noise was heard within the machine.

"Has anything been split on this computer?" I inquired, but no, nothing of the sort had happened, protested the client vehemently. Taking this with a grain of salt (no-one's going to admit doing something that totally invalidates their warranty and effectively wrecks their computer) I went about filling in the repair order.

Back on the bench, I started the PowerBook up. Sure enough, an address error on startup, just after' Welcome to Macintosh'. I lowered my ear to the keyboard, at which point I heard a crackling noise (couldn't hear any sloshing noise though) and became aware of a rather' sharp' odor which seemed to emanate from the inside of the machine. Flicking the computer off and more...

Gordon's Warranty Law: All warranty clauses expires upon bill payment.

Behold the warranty: The bold print giveth, and the fine print taketh away.

McDonnell Douglas
AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES
Important! Important!
Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified _Other
First Name____________________Initial____Last Name_________________________
Latitude________________________Longitude__________________________________
Altitude________________________Password, Code Name, Etc._________________
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
_F-14 Tomcat _F-15 Eagle _F-16 Falcon _F-117A Stealth _Classified
3. Date of purchase: Month___________Day___________Year____________
4. Serial more...

McDonnell Douglas
AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES
Important! Important!
Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to
fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop
new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. Name
Mr.
Mrs.
Ms.
Miss
Lt.
Gen.
Comrade
Classified
Other
First Name
Initial
Last Name
Latitude
Longitude
Altitude
Password, Code Name, Etc.
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
F-14 Tomcat
F-15 Eagle
F-16 Falcon
F-19A Stealth
Classified
3. Date of purchase
Month Day Year
4. Serial Number
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
Received as Gift/Aid Package
Catalog more...

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud:
"Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"
And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, more...

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"
And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of more...