Wash Jokes / Recent Jokes

How did the blonde try to kill the bird... she threw it off of a cliff. How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves... she fell out of the tree. How did the blonde die, drinking milk... the cow stepped on her. How did the blonde burn her nose... bobbing for french fries. Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month... the instructions stated, "good for up to 20 pounds". Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops... so they can tell if they are going to work or going home, while on the bus. Why do men like blonde jokes... it is one thing they can understand. Why do blondes like lightning... they think someone is taking their picture. Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces... from eating with forks. Why do blondes have more fun... they are easier to keep amused. What do you call a brunette with a blonde on both sides... an interpreter. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer... frosted flakes. What do you call a fly buzzing inside a more...

At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands. After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just as things get hot, the female doctor interrupts and says she has to go and wash her hands. Once she comes back they go for it. After the sex session, she gets up and says she is going to wash her hands. As she comes back the male doctor says, "I bet you are a surgeon". She confirms and asks how he knew. "Easy, you're always washing your hands." She then says, "I bet you're an anesthesiologist." Male doctor: "Wow, how did you guess?" Female doctor: "I didn't feel a thing."

In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."On a roller coaster: "Watch your head."On the grounds of a public school: "No trespassing without permission."On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."In front of a New Hampshire car wash: "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car." Signs and notices 06
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.Sign in a realtor's office: "Lots for little." Sign in a shoe store: "Come in and have a fit." Sign in a maternity clothes store: "We are open on labor day."

Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor.

"Do you wash?" the doc asked the rank young girl.

"Oh, yes," Mary answered. "Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and wash up as far up as possible."

"Well," the doc concluded, "go home and wash possible."

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile on the floor.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing a towel. If you see your girlfriend/wife along the way, flash her.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs. (no)
4. Turn on the water.
5. Check for pecs again. (no)
6. Get in the shower.
7. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (you don't use one)
8. Wash your face.
9. Wash your armpits.
10. Wash your penis and surrounding area.
11. Wash your ass.
12. Shampoo your hair. (do not use conditioner)
13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
14. Open the door and look at yourself in the mirror.
15. Pee
16. Rinse off and get out of the shower.
17. Return to the bedroom wearing a towel, if you pass your girlfriend/wife, flash her.

A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner "Mom& Pop" grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundrydetergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. "Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog." "But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's verypowerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. Infact, it might even kill him." But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergentto the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried totalk him out of washing his dog. About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy somecandy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. "Oh, he died," the boy said. The grocer, trying not to be an "I-told-you-so", said he wassorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to usethat detergent on your dog." "Well, the boy replied, "I don't more...

A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner "Mom & Pop" grocery store picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.

"Oh, no laundry," the boy said. "I'm going to wash my dog."

"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."

But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.

About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.

"Oh, he died," the boy said.

The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said he was sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that more...