Washington Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"
The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off.
Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?"
The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by!"

I see that Michael Jordan has been named president of the Washington Wizards.

Now we have two presidents in Washington who know how to score.

(Washington DC): A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court a check - a forged check. He got 10 years.
(Virginia): A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head - and realized that he'd forgotten to cut eye holes in the mask.
(Maryland): A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole - are you ready for this? - the bank's video camera. While it was recording. Remotely. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn't get the videotape of himself stealing the camera.)
(Washington, DC): A man successfully broke into a bank's basement through a street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the process. He then realized that (1) he could not get to the money from where he was,(2) he could not climb back out the window through which he had entered, and (3) he more...

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off.Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?"The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by!"

Dear Friend;
We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for the raising
of $5, 000, 000. 00 for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the Hall of Fame
in Washington, D. C.
This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue. It was
not wise to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never
told a lie, nor beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, since
Bill Clinton could never tell the difference.
We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest
democrat of all. He left not knowing where he was going, did not know
where he was, and returned not knowing where he had been. And he did it
all on borrowed money.
Over 3, 000 years ago Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your
shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised
land." Nearly 3, 000 years later Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels,
sit more...

If George Washington were alive today, why couldnt he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac? Because a dollar doesnt go as far as it used to.

I heard this one on the radio, offered up by a Cajun cafe owner in Louisiana, so read it with a French Cajun accent... Leetle Jean and heez father lived down on zee bayou. Jean wuz a very strong boy for all of heez ten years of age. One day Jean's papa asked Jean if he wuz zee one who had pooshed their outhouse into zee waters of zee bayou.
"Oh, no, Papa. I deed not do it!" say zee boy.
Now, Jean's papa knew that zee boy had a mean streak, and being zee strong youngun that he wuz, he wuz certain that Jean must have done zee deed.
He says: "Jean, now I really want you to tell me zee truth. Did you tip zee outhouse into zee bayou?"
"Oh, no, Papa. I wouldn't do that!" say leetle Jean.
Then Jean's Papa decides he must somehow win Jean's confidence to tell zee truth. He tells him zee following story.
"Jean, oncest upon a time, our first president, George Washington, wuz a leetle boy jus' like you. One day heez papa asked heem more...