Washington Jokes / Recent Jokes
After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington.
"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" Washington, slapping Osama in the face.
Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.
James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee.
Osama is subject to similar beatings from James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.
As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams - "this is not what I was promised!"
An angel replies "I more...
The Washington Post has reported that a former page of Mark Foley showed Rep. Jim Kolbe some Internet messages from Foley that had made the page uncomfortable. To ease the pages discomfort, Kolbe then passed the messages on to the Washington Post.
WASHINGTON, D. C. - President Clinton met with members of the newsmedia in an attempt to clear up misunderstandings involving dealings between Microsoft of Redmond, Washington and the U. S. Goverment.
Mr. Clinton not only denied taking any military action against Microsoft or Bill Gates, he also stated that there were never any negotiations regarding the acquisition of the United States by Microsoft, Inc.
"In fact" Clinton said, "we have entered into a strategic alliance with Microsoft that promises to end the enmity between our two nations (President Clinton has apparently mistaken Microsoft for an independent country), and to bring about a new spirit of cooperation that will benefit those we have used, er, our users, or uh, rather, our citizens... well you know what I mean."
Mr. Gates joined the president on stage by means of a satellite hookup, with his image being projected on a large screen over Clinton's left shoulder, while the president more...
Now it seems Clinton and co-President Hillary are concerned that they're gonna have to leave Washington DC when their term's over.
They're trying to organize the Mother of all Fund Raisers to see if they can purchase Washington DC outright, so they can stay on.
The Washington Nationals have reeled off 8 straight wins, their longest win streak in four years. Their second longest win streak in that time is one. The streak includes two sweeps, three huge come from behind victories, and four Mets fans shooting themselves.
A tour guide was showing a tourist around Washington, D. C. The guide pointed out the place where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar across the Potomac River."That's impossible," said the tourist. "No one could throw a coin that far!""You have to remember," answered the guide. "A dollar went a lot farther in those days."
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Bellevue, WAThere's a story circulating through the Bellevue School District about the woman who called wanting information on home schooling.Both Lake Washington (Renton, WA) and Bellevue districts are noted for their support of home schoolers, and the Bellevue spokesperson was explaining procedures and what to do to the mother on the telephone.Among other things, the mother needed to file a declaration of intent, a kind of home school registration. The spokeswoman offered to send out the proper form.The mother gave a Renton address.The spokeswoman suggested registering the children in her home district in Renton, the Lake Washington School District."No way," said the mother. "Everyone knows Bellevue schools are much better than Renton schools."