Watchdog Jokes / Recent Jokes

What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?

A terrified postman!

One day after school Jonathan went to the pet shop and told the owner he wanted to buy a watchdog for his mother's birthday.

"How about this one?" said the salesman, pointing to a cage with a scrawny little poodle in it.

"Are you kidding?" said Jonathan. "That dog looks harmless."

"Yes, but he knows karate," said the salesman. "Watch." The salesman pointed to a huge cinder block and shouted "karate the block!"

Immediately, the poodle struck out its paw and with one blow smashed the block into two pieces.

Next, the salesman pointed to a metal chair, then commanded, "Karate the chair!"

Once again, the little poodle crushed the chair with a single blow.

That night Jonathan brought home the poodle and showed it to his father.

"What kind of watchdog is that to give your mother?" said Jonathan's father. "What good is more...

Tonight’s my first night as a watchdog,
And here it is Christmas Eve.
The children are sleeping all cozy upstairs,
While I’m guarding the stockin’s and tree.
What’s that now - footsteps on the rooftop?
Could it be a cat or a mouse?
Who’s this down the chimney?
A thief with a beard,
And a big sack for robbin’ the house?
I’m barkin’, I’m growlin’, I’m bitin’ his butt.
He howls and jumps back in his sleigh.
I scare his strange horses, they leap in the air,
I’ve frightened the whole bunch away.
Now the house is all peaceful and quiet again,
The stockin’s are safe as can be.
Won’t the kiddies be glad when they wake up tomorrow,
And see how I’ve guarded the tree?!

What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber take the family silver? Time to get a new watchdog.

Tonight's my first night as a watchdog and here it is Christmas Eve The children are sleeping all cozy upstairs, While I'm guardin' the stockin's and tree.
What's that now? Footsteps on the rooftop? Could it be a cat or mouse? Who's this down the chimney? A thief with a beard and a big sack for robbin' the house?
I'm barkin', I'm growlin', I'm bitin' his butt. He howls and jumps back in his sleigh. I scare his strange horses, they leap in the air! I've frightened the whole bunch away!
Now the house is all peaceful and quiet again. The stockin's are safe as can be. Won't the kiddies be glad when they wake up tomorrow and see how I've guarded the tree!