Wayne Jokes / Recent Jokes
Today, every Tom, Dick and Harry is called Wayne.
Harry was telling his friend about his holiday in Switzerland. His friend had never been to Switzerland and asked,' what did you think of the scenery? '
' Oh, I couldn't see much,' Harry admitted.' There were all these mountains in the way.'
There are five people on a plane that's crashing. There is the pilot, Bill Gates, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and a big, fat lady and four parachutes. The pilot jumps out and yells, ''God bless me!'' Bill Gates jumps out and yells, ''God bless me and my bank account!'' Michael Jordan jumps out and yells, ''God bless me and my team!'' Wayne Gretzky jumps out and yells, ''God bless me and the New York Rangers!'' The big, fat lady jumps out without a parachute and yells, ''God bless me and the people I land on!''
An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit. "How many children?" asks the council worker "10" replies the Essex girl "10???" says the council worker.. "What are their names?" "Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne" "Doesn`t that get confusing?" "Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER`S READY or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..." "What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker. "That`s easy," says the girl... "I just use their surnames."
John Wayne Bobbitt was recently dropped from a celebrity boxing card after failing several blood pressure tests. It's certainly not the first time in his life he's been unexpectedly cut.
Paddy and Mick were watching a John Wayne film on TV. In one scene John Wayne was riding madly towards a cliff.' I'll bet you $10 he falls over that cliff' said Paddy.
' Done,' said Mick.
John Wayne rode straight over the cliff. As Mick handed over his $10, Paddy said' I feel a bit guilty about this, I've seen the film before.'
' So have I,' said Mick,' but I didn't think that he would be stupid enough to make the same mistake twice! '