Wayne Jokes / Recent Jokes

Knock, knock

Who's there?

Wayne

Wayne who?

Wayne dwops keep falling on my head...

A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper.
"Pardon me, sir," she says to the store manager, "but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?"
"Well," he replies pointing out one brand, "this is as soft as a baby's kiss. It's $1.50 per roll."
He grabs another and says, "This is nice and soft as a bunny, strong but gentle, and it's $1.00 a roll."
Pointing to the bottom shelf he tells her, "We call that our No Name brand, and it's 20 cents per roll."
"Give me the No Name," she says.
She comes back about a week later, seeks out the manager and says, "Hey! I've got a name for your No Name toilet paper. I call it John Wayne."
"Why?" he asks.
"Because it's rough, it's tough and it don't take no crap off nobody!"

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your momma Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: Wiped his butt Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead? A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up Q: What do the gynecologist and the pizza delivery guy have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it. Q: Why does a bride wear white? A: Because the dishwasher should match the stove and the refrigerator. Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full Q: How is pubic hair like parsley? A: You push it to the side before you start eating Q: What is blonde, has six legs and roams Michael Jackson's dream every night? A: Hanson Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? A: Made her chain too long Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister more...

A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper.
"Pardon me, sir," she says to the store manager, "but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?"
"Well," he replies pointing out one brand, "this is as soft as a baby's kiss. It's $1. 50 per roll."
He grabs another and says, "This is nice and soft as a bunny, strong but gentle, and it's $1. 00 a roll."
Pointing to the bottom shelf he tells her, "We call that our No Name brand, and it's 20 cents per roll."
"Give me the No Name," she says.
She comes back about a week later, seeks out the manager and says, "Hey! I've got a name for your No Name toilet paper. I call it John Wayne."
"Why?" he asks.
"Because it's rough, it's tough and it don't take no crap off nobody!"

This indian walks into a little country Ma & Pop store and ask the old
man behind the counter for some toilet paper. The old man explains
that there are three kinds they carry.... Charmin, Northern and No Name
toilet paper.
The indian is confused by the toilet paper not having a name, but buys
it anyway since it IS cheaper.
About a week goes by and the indian shows back up in the store and
throws the remaining rolls on the counter and exclaims: "I have a name
for this here no na me toilet paper. John Wayne"
The store keeper is confused and asks why.
The indian explains, "It's rough, it's tough and it takes no shit off
indian".

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who?
Wenceslas train home?

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow business like show business!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wayne
Wayne who?
Wayne in a manger...!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Donut
Donut who?
Donut open till Christmas!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Oakham
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithfull...!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Avery
Avery who?
Avery merry Christmas!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Holly
Holly who?
Holly-days are here again!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Rudolph
Rudolph who?
Money is the Rudolph of all evil!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Igloo
Igloo who?
Igloo Suzie like I knew Suzie...!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Wayne!
Wayne who?
Wayneward wind is a restless wind! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Wayne!
Wayne who?
Wayne is coming through the roof! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Wayne!
Wayne who?
Wayne are you coming over to my house!