Weather Jokes / Recent Jokes

What did Santa Clauss wife say during a thunderstorm? Come and look at the rain, dear.

As a couple sat in the living room, watching TV, the phone rang.The husband picked it up, listened for a moment and then screamed, "Damn it! How should I know? Call the weather bureau!" and hung up."What was that all about?" wife asked."Awww, some idiot wanted to know whether the coast was clear!"

A blonde was sitting down for her usual cup of coffee, listening to the weather report coming over the radio... "There will be 3 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the street."
So, she got up from her coffee and went to move her car.
Two days later, again sitting down with her cup of morning coffee, when the weather forecaster announced,"There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the street."
So, she got up from her coffee and again moved her car.
Four days later, again sitting down with her cup of coffee, the weather forecaster announced,"There will be 5 to 7 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the... " and then the power went out and she didn't get the rest of the instructions.
She said,"What am I going to more...

Q. What did one tornado say to the other? A. "Lets twist again, like we did last summer...."

The Indians asked their Chief in autumn if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing an answer, the chief replies that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared.Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter to be cold?"The man on the phone responded, "This winter is going to be quite cold indeed."So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, "Is it going to be a very cold winter?""Yes", the man replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again: "Are you absolutely sure that the
winter is going to be very more...

Every Saturday morning an avid golfer gets up early to catch his morning tee time and spend the better part of his day playing golf.
One Saturday morning, as is his schedule, he gets up early, eats a quick breakfast and heads out to the course. The weather is terrible; there’s a torrential downpour with snow mixing in and a 50 mph wind.
Defeated, he packs it in early and decides to return home, deciding he can go back out later if the weather improves. He comes back into the house and turns on the TV to the weather channel, which informs him it’s only going to get worse. He puts his clubs back into the closet, quietly undresses, then slips back into bed with his wife. “The weather out there is terrible, ” he whispers.
“Yeah, ” she replies, “can you believe my stupid husband is out golfing? ”

Youre hiking around on Hampsted Heath (a park near London) at the end of a long sunny day. You run across (separately) the ghosts of Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Baden Powell, and Sir Edmund Hillary, who all give you directions to the nearest tube stop. Whom dont you believe? Your story teller, for there is no such thing as a completely sunny day in England.