Weighs Jokes

In Manhatan a midget got onto the elevator.
A few floors down a huge black man got in, and said "Do you know that my
body weighs 300 pounds, in fact each one of my balls weighs 25 pounds, my
dick is 35 inches long and my name is Turner Brown."
The midget fainted dead away
After being revived by the paramedics the midget asked the
black man to repeat his last few words.
The black man replied "I said my name is Turner Brown."
"Thank God!" said the midget, "I thought you said 'turn around'".

An Aussie bloke is having a quiet drink in a bar and leans over to the big guy next to him and says, 'Do you wanna hear a Kiwi joke?
The big guy replies, 'Well mate, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 1.90 m tall, 125 kg and I played as a forward for the All Blacks."
"The guy next to me is 1.85 m, weighs 115 kg and he's an ex-All Black lock."
"Next to him is a bloke who's 2 m tall, weighs 120 kg and he's a current All Black second rower. Now do you still want to tell that Kiwi joke?"
The first bloke says, "Nah, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times."

George W Bush, Dick Cheny and Bush`s mama, Barbara, are having a holiday at the North Pole. George W weighs. .. Well, we know how light he is. Cheny weighs so much, and Miss Barabara, well, we won`t mention a lady`s weight. One day, the three of them are having a trip on a sleigh.

Suddenly, they see a polar bear behind them. Quickly, they throw out all the luggage behind them, but this doesn`t help: the bear comes closer.

They realise that one of the three will have to sacrifice himself or herself so that the two others will be able to escape.

"You should do it", George W. says to Cheny, "The bear will need more time to eat you then to eat me. We can`t expect Mama, here, to fight the bear."

"I guess you`re right", Cheny says. As he jumps out of the sleigh, he shouts, "For the G-O-P!", and gets killed by the bear.

"Thank God for my brains", George W. says, smirks. But, the bear more...

What weighs 35 tons, has four fuzzy ears and is 80 million years old? Two rabbits riding a brontosaurus.

What weighs 4 tons and is bright red? An elephant holding its breath!