West Jokes / Recent Jokes
A cattleman from West Texas died & went on to the Great Beyond. As he approached the great gate, he noticed that the terrain was bare with no greenery. He remarked to the gate keeper, "Howdy Saint Peter. Say, this looks just like Texas.""The gatekeeper replied, "First of all, Im not Saint Peter and second, you really dont know where you are at all, do you? "
Kanye West told Complex Magazine he is the most intelligent rapper in the world. He made the claim after successfully counting to eight.
The Top 10 Reasons Not To Stay in West Virginia
Contrary to what the lousy song says, Country Roads do NOT always take you home.
You dream of a life that will involve a paved road.
You grow tired of tourists stopping by, asking for directions to the state of "South Virginia", and driving off in a fit of laughter.
You're stuck with AM Radio... AM COUNTRY radio.
You've grown tired of seeing the group "Glass Tiger" at the local Acorn Festival each year.
The sheep won't take your "abuse" anymore and they are planning a revolt.
Hayrides are still limited to just 10 mph.
The local theatre's performance of "Les Miserables" left something, no A LOT, to be desired.
You've had it with those pesky revenuers destroying your stills of "shine".
No matter how hard you try, your cows don't appear receptive to chasing or catching that more...
In West Kerry, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. You don't love me any more...." "Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you cook better now."
One day, a cowboy rode into a Wild, Wild West town. The people in the town love to play jokes on visitors. After tying his horse to the pole outside a bar, the cowboy went in. "A cup of milk please." he said to the bartender. After drinking, he went out, only to find his horse missing. Knowing that the villagers did it, he went back into the bar and said to everybody," I am going to have another drink and when I finish it, I want to see my horse outside! Or else, I will have to do what I did in Texas - HERE!" The people were very frightened. When he finished his drink, he went outside and saw his horse. The villagers had put it back. Curious, the bartender asked the cowboy," What did you do in Texas?"
The Cowboy replied," Well, I had to walk home
Delonte West skipped a practice with the Cleveland Cavaliers. It's nothing serious, he just needed time to reload.
In a west Texas town, employees in a medium-sized warehouse noticed the smell of gas. Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential sources of ignition -- lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the scene of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician that was suspected of causing the explosion had never been thought of as "bright" by his peers.