Whales Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two whales spot Japanese Whaler. First whale: That's the bastard who killed my folks -- lets drown them! Second Whale: "If they killed your folks let's do it!" First: "We'll dive down then surface and blow the ship over with our blow-holes". This they did but the sailors were still alive swimming for it. First: "Darn it! We'll have to swim up to them with our mouths open and swallow them all down!" Second: "No way! I don't mind the blow-job but I'm not swallowing the seamen!"
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, “Let’s both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink. ” They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female “lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore. ”
At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. “Look, ” she said, “I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen! ”
Two whales spot Japanese Whaler. First whale: That`s the bastard who killed my folks -- lets drown them! Second Whale: "If they killed your folks let`s do it!" First: "We`ll dive down then surface and blow the ship over with our blow-holes". This they did but the sailors were still alive swimming for it. First: "Darn it! We`ll have to swim up to them with our mouths open and swallow them all down!" Second: "No way! I don`t mind the blow-job but I`m not swallowing the seamen!"
Dan had been studying whales for over 20 years and had made some thrilling breakthroughs regarding their communication. He had managed to decode many of their underwater sounds and to translate them into English. His latest research had proved that they can communicate over a distance of 300 miles. When asked what could they possibly have to say at such distances he replied, "As best as we can figure, it is something like - Hey, can you hear me now?
Two whales, a male and female, are swimming off the coast of Japan when the male whale looks up and sees the whaling ship that killed his father five years ago.
Excited at the opportunity to avenge his father's death, the male whale says to the female, "Let's go underneath the ship and blow air through our blow holes. That ought to knock their boat over, and make them think twice about killing innocent whales."
The female whale agrees, and the plan works perfectly.
Once the whaling ship has completely sunk, the male whale notices that most of the sailors are making their way back to the shore by either swimming or in lifeboats. Not willing to let them get away so easily, the male whale yells, "They're going to shore--Let's go gobble them up!"
Just then, the female whale becomes less cooperative: "HEY!," she says, "I agreed to the blow job, but there is NO WAY I'm swallowing seamen!"
Your mama is so fat she was walking on the beach and some whales popped up and started singing we are family even though your bigger than me.