Wheat Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation.There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking.The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says,"Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large."Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows."The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field.He asks, "And what are those?"The Aussie, fed up with the Texan's bragging replies with an incredulous look,"What, don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"

This blonde was driving down an old country road when she spots a blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat. She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while. When she could not stand it any more she called out to the blonde in the field. “Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field? ” The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, ”Because it is an ocean of wheat. ” The blonde standing on the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field. “It is blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name. ” The blonde in the field just shrugged her shoulders and began rowing again. The blonde on the side of the road was beside herself and shook her fist at the blonde in the field yelling, “If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your ass! ”

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets to talking.
The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at
least twice as large."
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan
immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows."
This goes on for a while and the Aussie is quite pissed off with the Texan farmer's showing off. The
conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the
field. He asks, "And what are those"? The Aussie replies with an incredulous look,
"Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"

A blonde lady was driving down the road injoying the sceenery and the breeze in her hair when she saw another blonde woman sitting in a row boat in the middle of a field of wheat, rowwing. Hitting hard on the brakes, she spun the car aound and drove back to the woman in the boat. Slamming her car door she stomps over to the edge of the wheat field and yelled "It is stupid people like you that give blondes a bad name! And if I could swim, I would come out there and give you what for!"

If a farmer raises wheat in dry weather, what does he raise in wet weather? An umbrella.

A Texas farmer is vacationing in Australia. While there, he meets an Aussie farmer who invites him out to his ranch. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large."
They walk around the ranch and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows."
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field.
"And what are those?" he asks.
"Don't you have grasshoppers in Texas?" the Aussie replies with an incredulous look.

In 1923, do you know who was:
President of the largest steel company?
President of the largest gas company?
President of the New York Stock Exchange?
Greatest wheat speculator?
President of the Bank of International Settlement?
Great Bear of Wall Street?
The winner of the US Open and PGA Tournaments?
These men were considered among the world's most successful. At least they were at the peak of their money making careers. Now, more than 55 years later, do you know what became of them???
The President of the largest steel company, Charles Schwab, died a pauper.
The President of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, became insane.
The President of the NYSE, Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home.
The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless.
The president of the Bank of International Settlement shot himself.
The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Rivermore, died a suicide.
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