Whereas Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Whereas, on an occasion immediately
    preceding the Nativity festival,
    throughout a certain dwelling unit,
    quiet descended, in which could be heard
    no disturbance, not even the sound
    emitted by a diminutive rodent related
    to, and in form resembling, a rat; and
    Whereas, the offspring of the
    occupants had affixed their tubular,
    closely knit coverings for the nether
    limbs to the flue of the fireplace in
    expectation that a personage known as
    St.Nicholas would arrive; and
    Whereas, said offspring had become
    somnolent, and were entertaining re:
    saccharine-flavored fruit; and
    Whereas, the adult male of the
    family, et ux, attired in proper
    headgear, had also become quiescent in
    anticipation of nocturnal inertia; and
    Whereas, a distraction on the snowy
    acreage outside aroused the owner to
    investigate; and
    Whereas, he perceived in a most
    unbelieving manner a vehicle propelled
    by eight domesticated more...

    Whereas, on an occasion immediately preceding the Nativity festival, throughout a dwelling unit, quiet descended, in which could be heard no disturbance, not even the sound emitted by a diminutive rodent related to, and in form resembling, a rat; and
    Whereas, the offspring of the occupants had affixed their tubular, closely knit coverings for the nether limbs to the flue of the fireplace in expectation that a personage known as St. Nicholas would arrive; and
    Whereas, said offspring had become somnolent, and were entertaining re: saccharine-flavored fruit; and
    Whereas, the adult male of the family, et ux, attired in proper headgear, had also become quiescent in anticipation of nocturnal inertia; and
    Whereas, a distraction on the snowy acreage outside aroused the owner to investigate; and
    Whereas, he perceived in a most unbelieving manner a vehicle propelled by eight domesticated quadrupeds of a species found in arctic regions; and
    Whereas, a most odd more...

    Whereas, on an occasion immediately preceding the Nativity festival, throughout a dwelling unit, quiet descended, in which could be heard no disturbance, not even the sound emitted by a diminutive rodent related to, and in form resembling, a rat; and Whereas, the offspring of the occupants had affixed their tubular, closely knit coverings for the nether limbs to the flue of the fireplace in expectation that a personage known as St.Nicholas would arrive; andWhereas, said offspring had become somnolent, and were entertaining re: saccharine-flavored fruit; andWhereas, the adult male of the family, et ux, attired in proper headgear, had also become quiescent in anticipation of nocturnal inertia; and Whereas, a distraction on the snowy acreage outside aroused the owner to investigate; andWhereas, he perceived in a most unbelieving manner a vehicle propelled by eight domesticated quadrupeds of a species found in arctic regions; andWhereas, a most odd rotund gentleman was entreating the more...

    Whereas, on an occasion immediately
    preceding the Nativity festival,
    throughout a certain dwelling unit,
    quiet descended, in which could be heard
    no disturbance, not even the sound
    emitted by a diminutive rodent related
    to, and in form resembling, a rat; and

    Whereas, the offspring of the
    occupants had affixed their tubular,
    closely knit coverings for the nether
    limbs to the flue of the fireplace in
    expectation that a personage known as
    St. Nicholas would arrive; and

    Whereas, said offspring had become
    somnolent, and were entertaining re:
    saccharine-flavored fruit; and

    Whereas, the adult male of the
    family, et ux, attired in proper
    headgear, had also become quiescent in
    anticipation of nocturnal inertia; and

    Whereas, a distraction on the snowy
    acreage outside aroused the owner to
    investigate; and

    Whereas, he perceived in a most
    unbelieving more...

    Whereas, the aggrieved party (husband) and the aggrieving party (wife) have been involved in a long standing dispute, and whereas we're tired of arguing over this stuff all the time, and whereas if you'd just listen to me you'd see that I'm right, Therefore come the parties together in a post-nuptial agreement, which I expect you to sign and then there's no need for further discussion.

    Clause One: Whereas, there is one correct way to arrange the furniture in the living room, and whereas the husband's back is still sore from last weekend when, after moving the chair into the corner for about half an hour, the wife made him carry it back to where it was in the first place, it is now understood by both parties that the furniture is in the correct arrangement. There is no need ever to move it again.

    Clause Two: It seems like the husband just got the Christmas decorations put up and now you want them taken down! So the wife should make up her mind. If the house looks more...

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