Whine Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why do little boys whine? Because they're practicing to be men.

Why do little boys whine? Because theyre practicing to be men.

1. Whine
2. When asked if something is bothering you, you reply no. Then get mad when you are believed.
3. Become attracted to someone because he is outgoing and loves parties, start dating him and immediately expect him to stop this behavior.
4. Always take an hour longer than promised to prepare for the evening.
5. Whine.
6. If you are trying to sleep, it's because you're exhausted from your almost super-human level of daily achievement; if he is trying to sleep, it's because he is lazy.
7. If he pays attention to you, he is smothering you.
8. If he gives you space, he is ignoring you.
9. Demand to be treated as an equal in everything. Except when paying for meals, plane tickets, concerts, beers, etc. These are required gifts proving his love.
10. Declare PMS at any given time. If he is knowledgeable about your cycle, tell him you're irregular from all of the stress of your life.
11. Remember that any woman who so much as looks at more...

Murphy's Laws Of Combat Operations Friendly fire - isn't. Recoilless rifles - aren't. Suppressive fires - won't. You are not Superman Marines and fighter pilots take note. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid. Try to look unimportant the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you. If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: when they're ready + when you're not. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact. There is no such thing as a perfect plan. Five second fuzes always burn three seconds. There is more...

1. You can enjoy a beer all month.
2. Beer stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car.
5. When beer goes flat you toss it out.
6. Beer is never late.
7. Hangovers eventually go away.
8. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
11. Beer never has a headache.
12. After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime.
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.
14. If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head.
15. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
16. A beer always goes down gently.
17. You can share a beer with your friends and enemies.
18. You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer.
19. A beer is always wet.
20. Beer more...