Whine Jokes / Recent Jokes

You can enjoy a beer all month. Beer stains wash out. You don't have to wine and dine a beer. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car. When beer goes flat you toss it out. Beer is never late. Hangovers eventually go away. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. Beer labels come off without a fight. hen you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer. Beer never has a headache. After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime. A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath. If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty. A beer always goes down gently. You can share a beer with your friends and enemies. You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer. A beer is always wet. Beer doesn't demand equality. A beer doesn't care when you come. You can have a beer in public. A frigid beer is a good beer. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes more...

1. Whine 2. When asked if something is bothering you, you reply no. Then get mad when you are believed. 3. Become attracted to someone because he is outgoing and loves parties, start dating him and immediately expect him to stop this behavior. 4. Always take an hour longer than promised to prepare for the evening. 5. Whine. 6. If you are trying to sleep, it's because you're exhausted from your almost super-human level of daily achievement; if he is trying to sleep, it's because he is lazy. 7. If he pays attention to you, he is smothering you. 8. If he gives you space, he is ignoring you. 9. Demand to be treated as an equal in everything. Except when paying for meals, plane tickets, concerts, beers, etc. These are required gifts proving his love. 10. Declare PMS at any given time. If he is knowledgeable about your cycle, tell him you're irregular from all of the stress of your life. 11. Remember that any woman who so much as looks at your boyfriend must be labeled a whore and your more...

Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they're practicing to be men.

If your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine at you, what have you usually done wrong? Made her chain too long.

1. Whine
2. When asked if something is bothering you, you reply no.
Then get mad when you are believed.
3. Become attracted to someone because he is outgoing and loves parties,
start dating him and immediately expect him to stop this behavior.
4. Always take an hour longer than promised to prepare for the evening.
5. Whine.
6. If you are trying to sleep, it's because you're exhausted from your
almost super-human level of daily achievement; if he is trying to
sleep, it's because he is lazy.
7. If he pays attention to you, he is smothering you.
8. If he gives you space, he is ignoring you.
9. Demand to be treated as an equal in everything. Except when paying
for meals, plane tickets, concerts, beers, etc. These are required
gifts proving his love.
10. Declare PMS at any given time. If he is knowledgeable about your cycle,
tell him you're irregular from all of the stress of your life.
11. Remember that any woman who so more...

Beowulf

See Grendel. See Grendel eat. Eat, Grendel, eat. Grendel is eating a few Danish for breakfast. Grendel especially likes the ones with the yellow coating on top. This is good because there are so many of them. Yummy!

See Hrothgar. He is sad. Sad, sad, sad. His warriors are leaving. They are sad because Grendel has eaten many of their friends. They do not want to play with Grendel anymore because Grendel is mean.

Hrothgar is also sad because his food is almost gone. Grendel eats the cows and pigs and horsies, too. Grendel is very hungry. Eat, Grendel, eat.

Hrothgar is also sad because his wife will not stop complaining. Whine, wife, whine. Hrothgar has tried to stop listening to her for three days now. Drink, Hrothgar, drink. Hrothgar is almost out of mead. Poor Hrothgar.

See Beowulf. He is big and strong and handsome. He has long viking braids and pointy horns on his hat [cultural misconception but amusing nonetheless] and more...