Wing Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy walked into a pet store looking for a Christmas gift for his wife. The storekeeper said he knew exactly what would please her and took a little bird out of its cage.
"This is Chet," he said, "and Chet can sing Christmas carols and songs." Seeing the look of disbelief on the customer's face, he proceeded to demonstrate.
"He needs warming up," he said. "Lend me your cigarette lighter."
The storekeeper lifted Chet's left wing and waved the flame lightly under it. Immediately, Chet sang: Oh Come, All Ye Faithful.
"That's fantastic," said the customer.
"And listen to this," said the storekeeper, warming Chet's other wing.
Chet sang: O Little Town of Bethlehem.
"Wrap him up," said the customer, "I'll take him!"
When he got home he greeted his wife: "Honey, I can't wait until Christmas to show you what I got you. This is fantastic."
He unwrapped Chet's cage and more...

This guy is not getting along so well with his wife and thinks maybe he'd like to have a pet he can get along with. So, he goes to a pet shop in search of a friend. After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"
"I was born this way," says the parrot. "I'm a defective parrot."
"Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot actually understood what I said and answered me."
"I understood every word," says the parrot. "I am a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
"Yeah?" the guy asks. "Then answer this; how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is a little embarrassing, but since you asked I'll tell you. I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a little hook. You more...

How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely? With it's sparrowchute!

Lazzy Airlines
-Passengers on a Lazzy flight heard this announcement from the captain:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean"
The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lazzy Airlines have prepared for such an emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the swimmers are on the right side of the plane"
After this announcement all the pasengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's request. Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean.
The captain once again made an annoucement: "Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and more...

How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely? With its sparrowchute!

A guy walked into a pet store looking for a Christmas gift for his wife. The storekeeper said he knew exactly what would please her and took a little bird out of its cage." This is Chet," he said, "and Chet can sing Christmas carols and songs." Seeing the look of disbelief on the customer's face, he proceeded to demonstrate." He needs warming up," he said. "Lend me your cigarette lighter." The storekeeper lifted Chet's left wing and waved the flame lightly under it. Immediately, Chet sang: Oh Come, All Ye Faithful." That's fantastic," said the customer." And listen to this," said the storekeeper, warming Chet's other wing. Chet sang: O Little Town of Bethlehem." Wrap him up," said the customer, "I'll take him!"When he got home he greeted his wife: "Honey, I can't wait until Christmas to show you what I got you. This is fantastic." He unwrapped Chet's cage and showed the bird to his wife. more...

THE rules specified that before sanctioning any work, concurrence had to be obtained from the Associated Finance wing of the Ministry.

A project for' Construction of a Bungalow with Outhouse' was sent to the Finance wing for expeditious approval. The file came back promptly with the observation,' Not agreed. A Bungalow without House is inconceivable.'