Wing Jokes / Recent Jokes

Statement: Recently, some brilliant White Wing Pundits, Politicians and Pooper Scoopers accused Sen. Barack Obama of having some of the characteristics of Betty Boop celebs like America's darlings Paris and Britney.

Reply: Among a host of other psychopathic and sociopathic problems, could the White Wing be having a sexual identity crisis on top of all the other junk they're suffering from lately?

There once was a lonely guy who bought a bird. The pet store manager said that the bird was a special bird and could sing, but only if you lit a match or lighter under his wings. The guy took the bird home and lit a match under the birds right wing and it began singing Jingle Bells. Then he lit a match under its left wing and it started to sing Silent Night. Just to see what the bird would do, the man lit a match under the birds balls and it began singing Chestnuts Roasting On an Open Fire.

'Twas the fight before Christmas
when all through the house
the tension was rising
'tween in-laws and spouse.
Expecting the onslaught, she'd shopped, wrapped, and baked,
Mom verged on exhaustion, her back cramped and ached.
"This year will be perfect!" determined she vowed
Then she lined up her brood, and she ordered aloud,
"Now, listen up, kids! Clean your ears, so you'll hear it!
You'll stop all your whining and get into the spirit!"
Their kinfolk were traveling from locales afar,
to watch little Jen as she held up the Star,
Jeremiah as drummer, and Jimmy as goat,
and the rest of the rugrats playing Heavenly Host.
The pastor who cast them, though' twas said he was braver
didn't trust Baby Paul to portray the sweet Savior.
Now the eve of the holiday pageant had come.
The mock angels fluttered, the wee drummer drummed,
and drummed and he drummed until Mom thought she'd more...

> Lufthansa - Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from
> the captain: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we
> have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the
> ocean" The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation
> but were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement.
> "Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an emergency
> and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the
> non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the swimmers
> are on
> the right side of the plane" After this announcement all
> the pasengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's
> request. Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean.
> The captain once again made an annoucement:"Ladies and Gentlemen we
> have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers more...