Wink Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I'm sorry....we can't hire you."

"But wait," he said. "If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking!"

"Really? Great! Show me!"

So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.

"Well," said the interviewer, more...

One Point Dares:Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
Walk sideways to the photocopier.
While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.
Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."
Don't use any punctuation.
Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.
Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen. Three Point Dares:Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
Every time you more...

Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the `real` reason this meeting has been called. Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table. During a meeting, each time the boss makes an important point, (or at least one he/she seems to consider important), make a little noise like you are building up to an orgasm. Stay behind as everyone else, including the boss, leaves. Thank them for coming. Give a broad wink to someone else at the table. In time, wink at everyone. Sometimes shake your head just a little, as if to indicate that the speaker is slightly crazy and everybody knows it. Arrange to have a poorly-dressed young woman with an infant quietly enter the meeting, stare directly at the (male) speaker for a while, burst into tears, then leave the room. Bring a hand puppet, preferably an animal. Ask it to clarify difficult points. When there is a call for questions, lean back in your chair, prop your feet up on the table, more...

In the grand city of Ottumwa, Iowa, it is illegal for any man, within the corporate city limits, to wink at any female with whom he is "unacquainted."

So, a guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company There's plenty of
food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright--but after a few months he gets
"lonely", if you know what I mean, nudge nudge wink wink.
The pig starts to look more and more attractive--soft, pink flesh, round buttocks, etc. But every time
this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his
leg. very frustrating.
One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy,
cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconscious. He drags her to shore
and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back to health. Finally she is well enough to walk
and she says to him "Thank you, thank you for saving my life. I don't know how I can ever repay
you. I'll do anything for you, anything, just name more...