Wink Jokes / Recent Jokes
A blonde was feeling so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into Lake Erie. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her teetering on the edge of the pier, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Listen, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you, and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added with a wink, "And I'll make you happy, and you can make ME happy." The girl nodded yes through her tears. After all, what did she have to lose? That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat, along with blankets and food. From then on, every night he brought her sandwiches, water, wine and fruit and they would make mad, passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the more...
Three friends took their wives on vacation for a week in Las Vegas and they all had a great time. A few days after they returned home, the men were sitting around talking about their trip.
"I don't think I'm ever going to do that again!" says the first guy. "Since we've been back, my wife flings her arms and hollers '7 come 11' all night long. I haven't had a wink of sleep!"
"I hear ya, buddy," the second guy replies. "My wife played blackjack the whole time we were there. Since we've been back, she slaps the bed all night and hollers 'hit me light, hit me hard'. I haven't had a wink of sleep either!"
"You guys think you have it bad!" exclaims the third guy. "My wife played the slots the entire time we were there. Every morning I wake up with a sore dick and an ass full of quarters!"
Officer.. wink, wink... You didn't see me drunk, and I didn't ask if you were a Jew. It never happened... just like the Holocaust.
Three buddies decided to take their wives on vacation for a week
in Vegas. The week flew by and they all had a great time. After
they returned home and the men went back to work, they sat
around at break and discussed their vacation.
The first guy says, "I don't think I'll ever do that again! Ever
since we got back, my wife flings her arms and hollers,' 7 come
11' and I havent had a wink of sleep!"
The second guy says, "I know what you mean. My wife played
blackjack the whole time we were there and she slaps the bed all
night and hollers,' Hit me light or hit me hard!' and I haven't
had a wink of sleep either!"
The third guy says,"You guys think that's bad! My wife played
the slots the whole time we were there and I wake up each
morning with a sore dick and an ass full of quarters."
The night before Y2K
'Twas the night before Y2K,
And all through the nation
We awaited The Bug,
The Millennium sensation.
The chips were replaced
In computers with care,
In hopes that ol' Buggy
Wouldn't stop there.
While some folks could think
They were snug in their beds
Others had visions
Of dread in their heads.
And Ma with her PC,
And I with my Mac
Had just logged on the Net
And kicked back with a snack.
When over the server,
There arose such a clatter
I called Mister Gates
To see what was the matter.
But he was away,
So I flew like a flash
Off to my bank
To withdraw all my cash.
When what with my wandering eyes
Should I see?
My good old Mac
Looked sick to me.
The hack of all hackers
Was looking so smug,
I knew that it must be
The Y2K Bug!
His image downloaded
In no time at all,
He whistled and shouted,
Let all systems fall!
Go Intel! more...
Three buddies decided to take their wives on vacation for a week in Las Vegas.
The week flew by and they all had a great time. After they returned home and the men went back to work, they sat around at break and discussed their vacation.
The first guy says "I don't think I'll ever do that again! Ever since we got back, my old lady flings her arms and hollers, "7 come 11" all night and I haven't had a wink of sleep!"
The second guy says "I know what you mean... my old lady played black jack the whole time we were there and she slaps the bed all night and hollers "hit me light or hit me hard", and I haven't had a wink of sleep either!"
The third guy says "You guys think you have it bad! My old lady played the slots the whole time we were there and I wake up each morning with a sore dick and an ass full of quarters."