Winning Jokes / Recent Jokes
10. When filling out your driver's license application, you give your IP address.
9. Rather than ask prospective dates what their sign is, your line is "What's your URL?"
8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends an email.
7. You're astounded to find out that spam is a food.
6. You 'ping' people to find out if they're awake, 'finger' them to find out how they are, and 'AYT' them to make sure they're listening to you.
5. You search the 'Net endlessly with the hopes of winning every silly free T-Shirt contest.
4. You refer to your wife as 'my [email protected]' and to your children as 'client applications'.
3. At social functions you introduce your husband as 'my domain server'.
2. After winning the office super bowl pool, you shout out, "I feel so 'colon-right parentheses'!"
1. Two simple words - "Pizza's here!"
A blonde in Las Vegas goes up to the Coke machine, puts in a dollar, and gets a Coke.
She puts in another dollar and gets another Coke.
She puts in another dollar and gets another Coke.
She puts in another dollar and gets another Coke.
Finally, the man behind her says, "Hey, lady. Do you think I could use the machine?"
She replies, "Fuck off! Can't you see I'm winning?"
The beautiful young blonde goes to a soda machine at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. She arrives just before a businessman. She opens her purse and put in 50 cents, pushes a Diet Pepsi button, and out comes a Diet Pepsi. She puts it on a counter by the machine and reaches back into her purse. She pulls out a dollar and puts it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushes the button for Dr. Pepper and out comes a Dr. Pepper and 50 cents change. She takes the 50 cents change and puts it in the machine, pushes the Lipton Iced Tea button, and out comes a Lipton’s Iced Tea. As she reaches into her purse again, the businessman who has been waiting patiently for several minutes says, “Excuse me, but are you done yet? ” She looks at him and indignantly replies, “Well Duhhh!!! I’m still winning. ”
A father and his five year old son were at the beach, they saw two dogs engaged in the game of nature, the boy was inqusitive to find what the two dogs were doing so he asked hid dad " Dad what are the two dogs diong" the dad was embarased to explain to his smal son, so he said " Son the two dogs are having a fight and the dog on the top is winning ".
That night the smal boy suddenly woke up from bead hearing some noice and saw the father on top of his mother, boy was thrilled and shouted " keep it up dad, you are winning".