Winning Jokes / Recent Jokes

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Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dustbin. Psychiatrist: Don’t talk such rubbish!
Be A Smoker!
Good News To All Smokers
The International Tabacco Syndicate, on its Golden Anniversary, wishes to invite Smokers of all ages to join in its biggest Anniversary Sweepstakes Draw, where every smoker is a sure winner! All smokers have the chance of winning the following major prizes.
Grand Prizes: A Brand New Cancer, Bronchial Infection, Goiter, Sinusitis, Migraine, Cerebral Tumor, Paralysis, Hypertension, and Asthma
Second Prizes: Special Hepatitis, Meningitis, Bronchitis
Third Prizes: Colored TB, Emphysema, Arteriosclerosis, Gingivitis, Rheumatism, Heart Disease, and Lung Cancer.
You can also have a chance to win consolation prizes such as: Tartar Deposits, Bad Breath, Stained Teeth, Appetite Loss, and Swelled Gums.
Join now!!! Remember that the more sticks you puff, the more chances of easy winning. Fabulous prizes await you!!! You can also more...

Lance Armstrong is on the verge of winning his eighth Tour de France. If this continues much longer, he'll be winning it with his left blinker on.

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Para-Olympics? Having arms and legs.

A blonde walks up to a soda machine, puts in a coin and out pops a drink. Totally amazed, she runs to get some more coins and returns to the machine. She quickly begins to feed one coin after the other into the machine and it keeps feeding out drinks.
Suddenly a man who's been standing there waiting taps her on the shoulder. "Excuse me, but could I have a go at the machine, please?"
"Not while I'm on a winning streak!" she replies.

In the Twenty-Twenty World Cup, post match presentation....
Ravi Shastri to Dhoni: "Congratulations to you and the whole Indian team for winning this world cup. You guys have produced a great nail baiting show.. and deserves the cup. We welcome you to share the joy with us."
Dhoni: "Thanks Ravi, the match was pretty close encounter between two great teams and our guys held the nerve to win the game and cup."
Shastri: "Who was the main reason for this thrilling victory?"
Dhoni: "All of us played well but I would say the main reason and man behind this great victory is Ajit Agarkar"
Shocked Shastri: "Agarkar? ? . . how come Agarkar... he didn't play in the final"..
Dhoni: "Yeah.. that's the reason we won this low scoring match.. if he could have bowled in final, Pakistan would have scored the winning runs from his 4 overs...."
Shastri: "ok.. fine, To whom you want to thank for winning more...

Twenty-20 - World Cup Final Post match presentation interview between Ravi Shastri and winning caption Dhoni

In the post-match presentation, Ravi Shastri to Dhoni "Congratulations to you and the whole Indian team for winning this world cup. You guys have produced a great nail baiting show.. and deserves the cup. We welcome you to share the joy with us."
Dhoni "Thanks Ravi, the match was pretty close encounter between two great teams and our guys held the nerve to win the game and cup."
Shastri, "Who was the main reason for this thrilling victory?"
Dhoni, "All us played well but I would say the main reason and man behind this great victory is Ajit Agarkar"
Shocked Shastri..., "Agarkar? ? . .. how come Agarkar... he didn't play in the final"..
Dhoni, "Yeaph.. that's the reason we won this low scoring match.. if he bowled in the final match, Pakistan would have scored the winning runs from his 4 more...