Winning Jokes / Recent Jokes
A blonde was standing in front of a coke machine she put in 50 cents and a coke came out. She set it on top of the coke machine. Put in 50 mor cents pushed the button and another coke came out.
She kept doing this untill a guy standing behind her said, " Excuse me, can I get my coke and then you can go back to what ever you are doing?"
The blonde turns around and says, " Like duh not when I am winning!! "
Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened.
“So, how did you do, son? ” he asked.
“You’ll never believe it! ” Billy said. “I was responsible for the winning run! ”
“Really? How’d you do that? ”
“I dropped the ball. ”
Chances of a Man Winning an Argument:
Dating: 50%
Engagement: 25%
Marriage Period: 0%, very rare
Little Billy rushed home after his Little League game, threw open the door and was jumping up and down with excitement.
"How was the game, son? How did you do?" asked his father, who was unable to attend the game.
"You aren't going to believe it, Dad," Billy exclaimed, "I was responsible for the winning run!"
"That's wonderful," his dad said. "How did you do that?"
"I dropped the bat!"
Detroit - With third-quarter sales sluggish and its share of the domestic market down 11 percent
since 1993, General Motors unveiled a new instant win airbag contest January 1st. The new airbags,
which award fabulous prizes upon violent high-speed impact, will come standard in all the company's
1998 cars.
"Auto accidents have never been so exciting!" said GM vice-president of marketing Roger Jenkins, who
expects the contest to boost 1998 sales significantly. "When you play the new GM Instant Win Airbag
Game, your next fatal collision could mean a trip for two to Super Bowl XXXII or a year's worth of
free Mobil gasoline."
Although it did not officially begin until January 1st, 1998, the airbag promotion has already been
tested in select cities, with feedback overwhelmingly positive.
"As soon as my car started to skid out of control, I thought to myself,' Oh boy, this is it - I could
be a big winner!'" more...
A college "Creative Writing" class was asked by the professor to write a concise essay containing the following four elements:
Religion
Royalty
Sex
Mystery
The writer of the best essay would be given a bookstore gift certificate. The winning essay read:
"My God!" said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"
Good News To All Smokers
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This promo is a limited offer... See your more...